Redoons : The only straight I am is a straight-up badass.
Vitalasy: Hello, McDonald's, I would like to purchase 130 chicken nuggets. Prepare yourselves.
Leowook: New challenge! Don't say stupid shit for 24 hours!
Redoons, in the hospital: Will you visit me when I get out?
Ashswag: Lol nah, I hate graveyards.Rekrap: *raises eyebrows*
Branzy: Put those back down!*Casually in the Middle of a High Stakes/Dangerous Situation*
Ashswag: How do you eat pickles?
Leowook: What do you mean?
Ashswag: I mean, there's a whole process. It's not like you can grab them from the jar with your hand, because it's cold and the juice burns if you have a cut, plus, it's pretty unsanitary. And you can't use a spoon because you'll have to scoop it out, and it'll be way too difficult to grab more than three or four without taking 10 minutes along with half the brine in the jar, even if it's one with holes.
Leowook: Yeah, that's why you use a fork.
Ashswag: Okay, sure, but what if you don't have one of the big ones clean? It's weird to use a small one. But there is always one of those smaller sharp knives clean.
Leowook: But the straight edge doesn't really fit the cylindrical shape, and you have to make sure you don' t break it, it's too much work.
Ashswag: It makes me feel like I deserve the pickles though. Like, "Yeah, I did it. That's right. Good job me." It's empowering. But even after that, it's not like you can use a bowl.
Leowook: I get that, it's not ascetically pleasing.
Ashswag: Exactly! And it looks weird if you don't entirely fill the bowl, but you also can't eat that many. My solution: Use a mug.
Leowook: *Nods in agreement*
Rekrap: That is all very interesting, BUT WE'RE TRYING NOT TO DIE RIGHT NOW! USE YOUR LIMITED ATTENTION SPANS AND FOCUS!
Ashswag: Jeez, okay.
Leowook: Quit yelling at us already.Parrot: That sounds super! Doesn't that sound super, Rekrap?
Rekrap: No.
Parrot: I think I speak for Rekrap when I say it sounds really super.Mappic: What is this!?
Subz: That's the weight of guilt. Give in to the nice side. Help those unfortunate, and make the guilt go away, my friend.
Mappic: Ow! Make it stop!
Subz: Surrender to your kindness, Mappic. It's nice to be nice.
Mappic: Your guilt is strong, my friend. But it is no match for the power of my selfishness!Branzy, to Subz: If Leowook doesn't say "I'm King of the world" within an hour on that boat, I will give you my next pay check.
Leowook, within 5 minutes of getting on the boat: I'M KING OF THE WORLD!!!Spoke: Something's off.
Zam: Maybe you've finally developed human emotions and feel bad for hurting people.
Spoke: No, but that's funny.Ashswag, working at McDonald's: Sorry sir, we don't serve a McFuck here, so either you throw that one slice of pickle out or we're gonna have a McProblem.
*Ashswag and Rekrap playing minecraft*
Ashswag: Oh no, oh no, oh no-
Rekrap: What's wrong?
Ashswag: I did a thing.
Rekrap: You regret the thing you dID-
Ashswag: *screams*
Rekrap: What the fuck did you do- *sees mass of aggravated Piglin* Damn it-
Ashswag: *screams again*Spoke: It's alright, we have salt packets.
Spoke: Not the ones that snap in half, but sure.Subz: Hi, could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire??
Rekrap: Microwave for 40 minutes.
McClutch : Why were you microwaving a lemon???
Rekrap: I read boiling lemons helps cover up up bad smells (I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges) but I didn't own any pots.
Ashswag: Did you burn an orange too? How???
Rekrap: Microwave for 40 minutes.
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Lifesteal incorrect quotes
HumorJust Lifesteal incorrect quotes dunno what else you want from me