Lifesteal incorrect quotes

Untitled Part 17

Rek: How was the honeymoon?
Branzy: Clown got drunk and tried to destroy our marriage certificate.
Branzy: He said, "good luck trying to return me without the receipt".
Branzy: I love him.

Zam: Leo was banned from the buffet place, so we had to go out of town to get food.

Leo: Well, they shouldn't say "all you can eat" if they don't mean it.

Zam: Leo, you ate a chair.

Ashswag: You know you've made it when you see your picture everywhere you go.

Rekrap: Those are wanted posters

Ash: You're pretty bad at this.

Red: Thank you!

Ash: Wha- That wasn't a compliment!

Red: I've decided to focus on the positive aspects of life now!

Red: So you just called me pretty!

Ash: Wth

Parrot, to Rek: There are two types of people in this group. Observe.

Parrot: The floor is lava!

Vortex: *quickly helps Ro, Zam and Woogie onto the counter*

Mapicc: *pushes Spoke off the sofa*

Parrot: See?

Subz: If we die, I'm going to get Vitalasy's ghost to teach my ghost how to play music, so I can annoy the hell out of your ghost.

Clutch: I'll just hire Oasis's ghost to kick your ghost's ass.

Oasis: My ghost won't associate with your ghost

Zam, texting: Leo, there's a spider on the outside of the bathroom door. Can you get rid of it?

Zam, texting: Leo?

Leo, texting: Leo is dead. You're next.

Leo, texting: love, The Spider.

Branzy: Can I have some water?

Vitalasy: *starts chugging his water bottle* Vitalasy: *chokes from drinking too fast*

Vitalasy: *spills water all over himself* 

Vitalasy, coughing: I don't have any water for people that betray purple duo >:(

Mapicc: We're playing Scrabble. It's a nightmare.

Rek: Scrabble? Scrabble's great.

Mapicc: Not when you're playing with Ro, it's not. They put words like "carpe diem" and I put "dog.

Zam: Why are you like this??

Ash: I used too much "No More Tears" shampoo as a kid and I haven't felt a single emotion since

Spoke: What if the 'g' in 'gif' is silent?

Clown: Get the fuck out of my house.

Spoke: What gif I don't want to?

Clown: Fuck You

Zam: What if I pour coffee in my cereal instead of milk?

Don, walking by and taking the coffee pot: And what if you don't?

Zam: That's okay we still have orange juice!

Spepticle: It's so nice to feel wanted, you know?

Branzy loading a crossbow: NOT BY THE LAW!!

Ashswag: I am not out of control! I'm a law abiding citizen!

Reddoons: Really? Name one law.

Ashswag: Don't kill people?

Reddoons: That's on me. I set the bar too low

Ashswag: *appear*

Reddoons: Ah, we meet again, my old arch enemies.

PrinceZam:...

PrinceZam: I thought I was your arch enemy?

Reddoons: I have a life outside of you, Zam

Hairdresser: How would you like your hair cut?

Clown: Preferably with scissors, but a sword could be badass.

Branzy: Sweet dog you got there.
Police: Yes, this is our new drug sniffing dog.
Branzy: Still training huh?
Police: What do you mean?
Branzy:
Branzy: Never mind.

Branzy: Welcome to my very first vlog, in which I try different hair products!
Branzy: *sprays hairspray in their mouth*
Branzy: Well, right off the bat I can tell you this one is not very good.

Branzy: I would do anything for money.
*later*
Branzy, covered in blood: THE STATEMENT STILL STANDS!

Spoke: So according to the cease and desist order I got, apparently you can't 'legally' be a lawyer if your license is 'cut out of a cereal box'.

*the TV is freaking out*
Branzy: Don't worry, you have to treat an electronic like you treat a patient on life support.
*unplugs the TV, then plugs it back in again. nothing changes*
Branzy: Yeah, that didn't work with my grandma either.

Mappic: So I can either do something dumb that could very well get me injured or I can listen to Ro and not do the thing,
Mappic: Well there's a clear right answer here.
Mappic: *proceeds to throw five packs of mentos into a barrel full of diet coke

Spoke: I lost my fish, can you help me find it?
Parrot, cooking the fish: What? I couldn't hear you, please speak up.

Subz: I trusted you!
Vitalasy: Why

Subz: What is wrong with you?
Vitalasy: Loaded question. Elaborate.

Vitalasy: How does one turn their emotions off?
Subz: Okay, so first go to settings.
Subz: I'm a fucking idiot, I thought that said emojis at first.
Vitalasy: No, I'm still willing to try this, go ahead. I'm at settings, what do I do next?