A Way to Yesterday

Chapter 19- Hurtful Words

Liam's POV:  

I seemed to fall into a depression after the surgery. After everything. The last three days I was on auto pilot. My responses were robotic. My mom and Arolyn eventually stopped trying to talk to me unless need be. Cara came in and out but the only conversation we had was when she asked how I was feeling and I would say fine. She would leave shortly after. Nothing more or nothing less was spoke.

But around day four she had enough. Arolyn and my mother had went to get something to eat so I was alone when she came in.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

"Fine," I say like I have been. She doesn't even check the machines. She turns and walks out. The door opens a few minutes later and something ice cold hits my face. I snap out of my trance and sit up as far as I can go.

"What was that for?" I shout and wipe the water from my face.

"You need to snap out of it Liam. Whatever this is. You haven't eaten or spoken more then a word," she yells right back at me.

"What's the point? You won't talk to me. So why should I keep trying?"

"That's not the point. Maybe if you kept trying. You never give up that easy," she says.

"Yeah well I'm not stupid. I'm not going to keep chasing you when you clearly don't care anymore," I can't keep the anger out of my voice.

"That's not true," she shouts as if it's the most absurd thing I've ever said.

"Yes it is. It doesn't matter to you that I regret leaving you everyday. It doesn't matter to you that I came back hoping to see you again. It doesn't matter that seeing that you don't love me anymore hurts more then you can imagine," I've never been so angry before.

"But I do love you," she whispers. I can't think of anything to say. My mind goes blank from her words. The words that I've been waiting to hear from her. I immediately feel guilty for yelling at her.

"Cara..."

"But you don't get to say that to me," she's angry now.. "You may have came back but you're married now. So you gave up on this. I didn't. I haven't had a committed relationship with anyone since you. And you wanna know why? Because you destroyed me," she yells.

"I..."

"So screw you Liam," she says and I barely notice the tears in her eyes.

"Cara," she shakes her head and backs away.

"No. I have to go," she says and turns on her heel out of the room.The door slams shut and I scream into my pillow.

The words I've been waiting to hear were overpowered by her anger. I never really thought about how our break up effected her. I never thought it hurt her so bad. She stopped crying and said goodbye then left. I had a feeling she was trying to be strong but I didn't know how much she was pretending.

That's the thing about falling in love, someone will always get hurt. No matter the situation. Something always goes wrong. I didn't have much faith that this would get better. She was too hurt and I was married. I couldn't just break that off. But the real question, if it came down to it would I leave Arolyn?

I couldn't answer that. I loved Cara with everything I had but Arolyn and I had been together for six years. I couldn't just throw that away. I was so torn I didn't know what to do.

The door opens again and I look up expecting Cara but it's Niall instead. He smiles at me and tries to hide his puzzled look.

"I see you're feeling a little better Liam," he says. I nod.