A Way to Yesterday

Chapter 5- Am I Dead?

Cara's POV:

Present.

I leave the room quickly. I try to keep my breathing controlled and my face neutral. I push open the door to a supply closet and shut the door. My body falls against the door and sinks to the ground. This wasn't happening, I thought to myself.

I had to be dreaming. I was never supposed to see Liam again. He left Pennsylvania. Six years ago. What the hell was he doing here? Maybe this was a dream. Maybe I was still in my bed with Harry asleep next to me. But I couldn't be dreaming. It felt all too real.

I needed to pull myself together. I couldn't have a break down at work. Not today. Not ever. Breathe in. Breathe out. I could do this. I could be professional about this. Yeah. That's it. Nobody has to know about our past. I would be his doctor and only his doctor.

Just then the door is pushed open and I fall to the side. I look up as the light is clicked on.

"Dr. Kingston?" Lydia questions.

"Uh. Yeah," I say. She gives me a confused look and steps into the storage room. She holds out her hand and I take it. She pulls me off the ground.

"What are you doing in here?" she asks. I straighten my coat and take a deep breath before answering.

"I was just getting something," I tell her.

"On the floor?"

"It's no concern of yours Miss Hudson," I say. She nods and looks at the floor. "Excuse me. I must prep for a surgery." She steps out of the way. I leave the room quickly. I find Harry at the end of the hall talking to a nurse. I walk quickly towards him. He looks up from the chart he's holding and smiles at me.

"Hey," he greets me. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I say louder then intended. "Why would something be wrong?" His eyes search my face for a moment before narrowing them at me.

"I know I said you don't have to tell me everything but can you at least not act like I'm stupid," he says.

"Nobody said you were stupid," I tell him.

"So then tell me what's wrong," he raises his eyebrow and I shake my head.

"I told you it's nothing," I say again. He sighs heavily.

"Well how do you expect me to help you if you won't talk to me?"

"I don't expect you to help me. I just..."

"Need me to be there and understand without all the details," he finishes for me. I nod. He checks the time on his watch and sighs. "I have to check on a patient but we'll talk about this later."

"Wait. I actually need you to help me with a surgery. There was an accident and he has severe head trauma so I want to reduce the swelling in his brain." I say. He nods.

"Okay. Give me ten minutes," he says and walks away. I go to prepare for surgery. Hopefully I could get through this.

Liam's POV:

I was literally screaming in my own head. And nobody could hear me. It was the most frustrating thing in the world. I kept hearing people coming in and out of the room and they kept touching me.

"Is he ready?" I hear the familiar voice ask again.

"Just about," the guy answers. I feel some tugging on my arm and then I'm being moved. I hear more sounds that I can't quite make out and then a lot of different voices. I'm pretty sure there's the sound of an elevator dinging.

It gets really quiet and then I feel like I'm being dropped. More shuffling happens then I'm moving again.

"So this is the patient?" a new voice asks.

"Yes. He has severe head trauma and a broken arm and three broken ribs," the guys informs the new voice.

"Okay. Lets do this," he says. I'm being lifted then am set down again. Something is placed over my mouth I start to feel sleepy. The next thing I know I'm out in a black abyss.

When I open my eyes a bright light blinds me. I squint my eyes and blink a few times. I cover them with my hand. Wait. I moved my hand. I can move. I sit up quickly and try to look around. I was in a empty white room. It was extremely white. It reminded me of a hospital.

Hospital. That means I'm still at the hospital. The surgery must be over. How long have I been out? I stand up slowly and look for a way out. That's when I realize there isn't one. I start walking towards the wall but the closer I get the farther the wall is.

I stop running towards the wall and look around for some type of exit. But there wasn't one. Just the pure white of the walls that I couldn't reach. I was beginning to panic. I needed to get out of here.

"Help!" I shout at the top of my lungs. My voice is an empty echo. I hear a creaking behind me and turn to find a door. I start towards the door and turn the knob slowly. I open it to reveal another blinding light. I can't see the other side.

Was I dead? Was this the doorway to heaven? Or hell? I read theories about this. That when you die a door appears and takes you to where you're supposed to be. But I wasn't sure I believed it. Only one way to find out.

I take a deep breath and step through the door. The light softens and images start to become clearer. People are everywhere. Standing in a huge clutter in what seems like a hallway. For some reason this looked familiar.

The door slams behind me and disappears. I turn back towards the mass of people. I reach towards a guy standing to the right of me but my hand goes right through him. I stare at my hand in confusion.

"Hey," I call loudly. Nobody turns or even lifts their head. So I was dead. And nobody could hear or see me. I start down the hall. People are literally everywhere. Good thing I can walk right through them.

I finally make it downstairs. Now I hear music. I smile when I recognize the song. It was one of my favorites in college. I start bobbing my head to the beat and then stop when I realize where I'm at.

It was my second year of college, the first party of the year. The one I invited Cara to. Where we stayed the whole night talking. I push my way to the living room and sure enough there we are. She's sitting with her legs crossed with a cup in her hand and I'm siting next to her.

She laughs at something I said and I go closer.

"No but seriously. You had to be there. It was the funniest thing ever," I say.

"Okay. I've got a really funny story," she says and sets her drink on the coffee table.

"Shoot," I tell her.

"Okay. So I was fifteen and we had just got out of school for the summer. And I was walking home with a friend. Everyday we would pass this house with a huge dog. I was never afraid of dogs but this one was mean. Anyway the owner had left the gate open and the dog was out. My friend liked to tease the dog so she went to do it that day and the dog ran out of the gate."

"Anyway we ended up getting chased all the way home. But she ran right into a street sign and fell. It was pretty funny."

"Sounds like it," I laugh. She picks her drink back up and takes a sip. "That reminds me of a time in high school where this guy was streaking during a football game and he tried to jump over the fence but he didn't quite make it," I launch into another story.

I move closer to the younger me and look at Cara. I smile as she does. Her smile always got me. It was always full of light and love. It had the power to brighten anyone's day. I sit down on the couch next to the other me and listen to the conversion. When she starts telling me about a time at her grandpa's birthday party I watch as her eyes light up.

A sadness washes over me suddenly. I was stupid. I never should have let her go. Now I'll never get the chance to make it up to her. I'll never see her beautiful smile again. Maybe this was my own personal hell. I would be forced to replay scenes from my past. Every stupid mistake.

As long as I got to relive every memory with Cara I didn't mind one bit.