A Way to Yesterday

Chapter 38- Graduation

Liam's POV:

Past.

"Liam," I look up to see Zayn staring at me.

"What?" I ask. I looked around to see if I was missing something again. I had been doing that a lot lately. Zoning out.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"Yeah. I'm fine," I answer.

"Really? Because we're about to graduate from college and you don't seem at all happy about it," he points out. I sigh. I look around again and notice that everyone is talking excitedly and smiling, some are even jumping around. I appear to be the only one sad.

"I just have a lot going on," I tell him. He clips me on the shoulder.

"Well don't be sad today Liam. You're graduating. From college. Smile," he says. I force a smile. I hadn't smiled much since my mom told me about my dad. I remember being angry. Angry that she hadn't told me sooner.

And then the sadness kicked in. Cara had to drive back because I was too upset to. She held my hand the whole drive back while I silently cried. I didn't cry much but this was something I'd been holding in for a while now.

For about two weeks after I found out I had tried to see him but he was avoiding me. I called countless times but he didn't answer. I called my mom and yelled at her. She told me that he was scared to talk to me. Why was he scared? I was his son?

Then when he finally called I understood.

As soon as he heard my voice he started crying. He apologized immediately. My anger disappeared and I asked him why he didn't tell me.

"I didn't want to put you through anything else," he said.

"But dad you should have told me. I don't care what I have going on in my life. If something is happening to you I want to know," I said.

"I know. I'm sorry. I just didn't want to hurt you anymore. I know I've done that enough the last few months and I didn't want to tell you this." I don't say anything for a moment.

"Can I come see you?" I asked.

"Of course," he said. I smiled."Just promise me that you'll finish school and graduate and live your life Liam. Don't let what's happening to me affect you. I still have time left. Just don't let it upset you okay."

"Okay dad."

"And I'll be front and center at your graduation ceremony," he said.

"I'm holding you to that," I said. And then shortly after we hung up. He told me how much he loved me and I said the same then the line went dead and I had a sinking feeling in my chest.

And it's been there ever since.

"Okay. Everybody make your way to your seats please," the coordinator says over the loud speaker bringing me back to the present. Zayn shouts excitedly and I barely smile at him. I needed to smile. My dad had come. He told me to be happy. He told me to live my life. I was graduating college. Why the hell wasn't I happy?

As we make our way to the seats I throw my arm around Zayn and we do a very guy hug.

"I'm sorry I ditched you this year," I say.

"Oh. It's fine. I know you love Cara. No need to apologize. Besides we've been roommates for three years that's enough for me," he says. I smile and shake my head. We sit in our seats and I look out at the guests chairs to see if I see Cara or my family.

I catch sight of Ethan standing with my dad and wave at them. They get everyone else's attention and they all wave at me. I look for Cara but I don't see her. I frown. I thought she would sit with Ethan and my family. I try and mouth to my mom and find out where she is but she doesn't seem to understand what I'm trying to say.