A Way to Yesterday

Chapter 21- Family Ties

Cara's POV:

Present.

I was finally on my way out. After my little encounter with Liam earlier I was more then ready to go home. I had confessed my raw feelings to him all over again. Nobody ever said it but I was always more emotionally vulnerable. After we broke up that vulnerability intensified and I felt like a victim of my own emotions.

Point, I hated it.

"Cara," I stop at the sound of Harry's voice behind me. "You headed home?" he asks.

"Yup. Long night and I'm exhausted," I say. The tone of my voice is enough indication for him to know something went down with Liam.

"So I saw him today. Niall was taking him to get an x-ray I think," he explains. I nod.

"Harry I don't think we can do this anymore," I blurt out.

"Do what?" he asks.

"Whatever this is. I think we have to end it," I say. He stares at me for a second like he's thinking of a response. He sighs and looks away.

"I told you this was going to happen," he mumbles. I raise my eyebrows at him.

"And what exactly do you think is happening?" I ask. He shakes his head and smiles but it seems forced.

"You're still in love with him," he says.

"No...I'm not," I say.

"Oh really? Then why end a great...friendship? We have a good thing going for us. Why end it now?" he asks.

"Okay. First of all I never said we should end our friendship. And secondly I have other reasons to call this off," I say even though I'm lying through my teeth about the second part.

"And what would those be?" he asks.

"Look Harry. I'm not in the mood for this right now. I'm tired and I already got into it with him I don't want to argue with you too." Harry takes a step back and holds his hands up in surrender.

"I'm not trying to argue but I understand. We'll end the benefits part of our friendship. I'll see you tomorrow," he says and turns to leave but stops and looks at me again. "But just ask yourself if he would choose you at the end of the day." With that he walks away. I sigh heavily and shake my head.

I knew he was right but I couldn't. There was no way I could just let all those intense feelings come flooding back. He was married and Liam has always been a good guy. If he loves her he wouldn't end his marriage for a lost love.

I was stupid if I ever thought he would. He obviously had gotten over me while I was drinking myself into oblivion.

For my entire last year of college I was drowning in my sorrows. I didn't talk to anyone. I only went to my apartment and classes and occasionally the store. I studied all the time alone and lost most of my friends. The closer graduation got the more I came out of my trance. Each day was easier but not by much.

By the time I graduated I was talking to a few people including Liam's best friend Zayn. He would always call and see how I was doing. I used to think he was doing it for Liam but I recently found out that him and Liam lost contact after he moved back to New York.

It was that thought that gave me hope that he still loved me. Until I found out that they didn't talk anymore. I guess a part of me knew that but I didn't want to believe it. And now look where all that hoping got me.

I was that pathetic ex who couldn't bare to move on because I was vulnerable. I had become exactly what I had scoffed. High school was the time when I felt rebellious against anyone in a relationship. I literally made fun of the girls that made their boyfriends the center of their universe. And I had become one of them.

Honestly my situation could've been much worse. At least I wasn't a game or lied to or cheated on. At least I knew that Liam really loved me once upon a time. But that doesn't make it any easier to deal with.

I needed a break away from all of this. And I knew exactly where to go. The sun was starting to come up and I checked the time on my phone. It was a little after 6 am. I started the car turn the heat on full blast.

I stop at a gas station and grab a coffee for the drive I was about to make. I had pretty much stopped drinking coffee too after a while and the taste of it brought back memories. I shake them away and start driving.

My mind races the whole way. What will they say? I haven't visited much in since I graduated, like most of my family. I used to be so open and lively with my family and then I changed. I shut out everyone who loved me and stayed away as long as I could. I never wanted to get hurt again. And I learned that even family has that possibility.

The sun was finally up but it was still extremely cold out. I was about ten minutes from my destination. I hoped that they wouldn't mind me being there. I pull up to the familiar house that I spent a lot of time in as a child. I shut off the car and sit there for a moment mentally preparing myself for this.

I finally get out and make my way to the porch. I wasn't sure if I should knock or just walk in. I decide to knock on the door lightly. I hear shuffling on the other side and my heart races. Then it opens.

"Cara?"

"Hi Grandma," I say. She has a shocked expression on her face and I instantly feel guilty for staying away for so long. She recovers after a few second and steps forward for a hug.

"What are you doing here? Is something wrong?" she asks as she lets me go. I shake my head. Her brief hug was warm and felt like home.

"No. I just wanted to see you. I'm sorry I haven't been coming around much," I say. She smiles and steps back.

"It's fine. I'm just glad you're here now. Come in out of the cold," she says. I step inside and welcome the warmth that envelopes me. She shuts the door and my eyes wander around the house. Not much had changed since the last time I visited. The only noticeable difference was my grandpa's favorite chair was missing and in it's place was a new recliner.

"What happened to grandpa's chair?" I ask.

"We got rid of it. He felt it was time," she answers. It seemed everyone in my family held onto something for far longer than necessary. Except mine wasn't an object.

"Where is he anyway?"

"He's watching TV," she says and nods towards the living room. I poke my head around the wall and find him sitting on the couch with his feet propped up and his eyes glued to the TV. I clear my throat and he looks up.

"Cara," he smiles brightly and sits up. He stands up from the couch slowly and I rush over to him.

"Hi grandpa," I say and throw my arms around him. He hugs me tightly and I hold on for a few seconds too long. I pull away and smile at him.

"What are you doing here? I haven't seen you in a while," he states. He sits back down on the couch and I sit beside him.

"I know and I'm sorry. I've just been so busy with work. But if it's okay with you I'm going to stay here a few days to visit," I give him a hopeful smile.

"Of course you can stay here. You can stay as long as you want," he assures me. I hug him again and he chuckles in my ear. "You've been away too long." He mumbles and I instantly feel guilty.

Right then I made a silent vow that no matter what happened I wouldn't stay away from my family ever again.