what's out there ( a poetry story )

the weight of you

the way you've brought me to my knees the past 3 years,

falling in love behind a screen,
i can't even explain it

you,

you are literally all i think about

and i can go on all day
and
all night

but you are like a drug i cannot stop doing

i don't understand this myself,
cause i don't know why i act like this when it comes to you

it was like a big violent blow,
my whole world was crushed

you see to creep into my mind,
down my chest,
crawling down to my knees

i sit on the floor and stare at my wall sometimes,

cause i feel so fucking confused
and
empty

how can i let a man hours away from my heart

destroy me?

i let you do it d,

and that's my fault,

not yours,

i am human,
i have feelings,

i wish i can turn it off

but it's not that easy,

the way you did it,
seems like it was just one flick of a switch

i can say you were my first love,
i never felt this way about anyone in my life

and i understand things happen for a reason

but what was this reason?

you'll always be remembered as the first man i ever fell in love with

i came out of this different,
and
i'll never be the same

the pain i feel is like
you're sitting on my chest,
and it gets heavier each and every day coming through

it comes un invited,
and hard to get rid of

the weight of you sits on my chest,

and it's getting hard to breathe