what's out there ( a poetry story )

i don't even know you

not even my friend can help out cause you're a hard headed motherfucker

i don't even know you,
i hung out with you twice and everytime our lips touched

i wanted more

i lied and you knew i did
i just didn't want you to see it like that

it's the way you asked my friend what she was doing that day

hurt me a bit

i felt bad,
but i knew you weren't good for me deep down

i don't understand why you hid your feelings,
when i felt the same way

when you said
you didn't care

anymore

that hit,
cause only if you were to tell me

i went to parties in your town cause i wanted to see you more cause i knew it was far for you to come see me

i would stay the night at my friends house and hoped you would want to see me the next morning,

but you had work

i felt confused

was it because you wanted sex this whole time?
or
because you felt what i felt

i wanted to see you,
but i had to ignore you

my gut tells me something,
i'm gonna listen to it

a man for the streets can never rock my heart

a man who had little to no patience in the end

i don't know what to say

traumatized

i miss the man i called monster this whole time

but you took my mind of the monster,

someone i wanted to end up trusting one day,
but i knew deep down

even dreams told me

god has it written,
if you come back,
you will

but truly,
all this time

it was the monster i wanted