(Donnie's POV, !!Attempted suicide/SH, suicide!!)
I had the same lucid nightmare again last night, it starts out the same every time, me and my brothers get ready to go out to patrol, then Mikey steers away from the team and tries to commit suicide, but when we stop him, he's like a whole different person...
"Why do I have to do anything you tell me to?! I am my own fucking person, I have my paths to choose, and I choose this! Just because you're all older, more skilled, more talented, so much more fucking important than I am, doesn't mean I have to do whatever the hell you say!" he says as he turned around with the gun coming up to the side of his head, "Good. Fucking. Bye!" and then he shot himself, "MIKEY!" I yelled as I ran and caught him, "HOLY SHIT, HOLY FUCKING SHIT!" I hear Raph yell behind me. Casey's crying his eyes out, Leo's standing there like a sobbing statue, April is collapsed in tears on the pavement, and I'm sitting here, holding a bloody Mikey in my arms. "I-I can fix it! Yeah, all-all I need i-is--" I stutter, but Leo puts a hand on my shoulder that prevents me from standing up, "I don't think we can fix this, Donnie. It's what- it's what he said he would do, and it's what he did." he says, his voice is cracked when he speaks, but I can fix it, I can help, "I can and will fix it! Its my fault anyway, so I need to help!" I object, but I hear a voice emit from Mikey, "Donnie, its just a nightmare.. Everything's ok!" and suddenly I'm in my bedroom again, with a tear soaked pillow beneath my head, not enough air in my lungs, and a worried, but alive and breathing, Michelangelo with his hand resting on my shoulder.
"Mikey? Mikey, thank God you're alive!" I sob as a steal him into an emotional embrace, "It was just a dream this whole time, I never plan on scaring you like that ever again. I'm here, it's ok Donnie." he says, dream or not, I'm glad he's alive, but last time, I lied and said it was another fear of mine. "Was it the same nightmare again? The one about April?" he asked, "No, it was different." I say, feeling the urge to wrap him in a hug again, "Can you tell me? Or if you can't tell me, can you text it or draw it?" he says, "I can draw it, but it gets really emotional and terrifying for me." I said as I'm given paper, pencils of both color and lead, and a clipboard. I draw as best as I can, and I have a mental breakdown along with a panic attack when I draw that Mikey shoots himself, but I push through it and finish, I kind of hide in my shell after I hand the drawings to him, its my stupid 'fight or flight' response, the response is always flight. I hear the papers being folded and I hear light sobbing, then, still in my shell, am picked up by him like a stuffed animal. The others come in and see this and then I hear "Sleeping pile, living area." Leo planned it out, I don't want to come out of my shell, and they don't make me, and we all fall asleep on each other in the living room. I'm gonna try to not think about it anymore, the incident was two and a half months ago, but its hard to not think about the endless alternative outcomes of a situation, so, might as well get used to a sleeping pile every night.
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Unbearable Insanity
FanfictionMikey has not been as brutally honest as his older brothers think he has . . . His brothers and friends find out that Mikey has been dealing with mental instability alone one night while snooping around in his room, which is the only room in the hou...
