Unbearable Insanity

Chapter 21: Who Hurt You?

(Leo's POV, we haven't done Leo in a long time, !!attempted suicide, murder, SH, blood!!)

I think Donnie's lucid nightmares are coming at us all, he showed us the pictures today, "I had the same nightmare, except Mikey doesn't commit suicide, he commits a homicide and shoots Raph," I say, we are all concerned, about me, about Donnie, and definitely about Mikey.

After patrol, Mikey's put on house arrest again, we want to keep him safe, "Dude, seriously?! I was getting better, you guys were noticing me getting better." he says, "Yes, but we want to keep you safe, we want to feel and know you've gotten better. We don't want to just notice, we want to know so we can avoid more incidents like that." Donnie said, he was silent for a moment then stomped off to his room, he locked the door.

It's been an hour since he unlocked his door, or came out of his room in general, so I started to worry and wonder, "Hey, Don, can you get that key, the one that can unlock any door?" I ask, "Yeah, its in my lab, I'll be back." he says, walking to his lab. He comes back half an hour later, "I can't find it." he said, "Did you have it in a specific place?" Raph says, "Yes, because, unlike you, I'm organized," he starts to protest, but I stop the argument, "Guys, what if.." I say, looking at the locked door, "No, he couldn't've, I keep the key safe and in a spot high up where he couldn't reach it." "But, we still can't rule it out,"

Two more hours pass, and Mikey unlocks his door and leaves the room, but instead of saying anything he bolts to the bathroom covering his arms. We notice a trail of blood lead from his door to the bathroom, and we realize that he's now back at square one, he relapsed, he still needs some supervision on the self-harm, then, the idea hits me, "Guys, so, you know that people all over media and stuff have been saying to try out this app thing, 'I Am Sober,' We could try it with Mikey." I say, "Well, how're we gonna see when he resets it or something?" Raph asks, "That's the thing, you can share it with people, so we'll be able to see when he relapses or resets it." "This could actually work.." Donnie says, but before we can all agree, there's sobbing and screaming coming from the bathroom. Raph busts the door down to, where we find, a weeping Michelangelo on the floor, covered in bandages, blood, and tears. He's also screaming, but now it's not as loud, he's tearing his vocal cords. We're able to get him to stop screaming, but the crying doesn't stop, he's definitely gotten so much worse. We take him back to the room to have him write down what happened, but he tries to talk, his voice is coarse so we have to stop him from talking anymore. He gets hit with a ton of vocal tics, and we let his tics go because we, nor he, can control them, 'I just couldn't do one thing and got upset, it was stupid of me to relapse over that, I'm sorry you had to go through the trouble of helping me' he wrote, "Mikey, bud, we would be glad to help you, we'd help you over the smallest things, but you didn't trouble us." Raph says, "Yeah, we want to help you, we don't just need to, we actually want to help, you mean the world to us, little brother " Donnie's last words cause Mikey to go into a spiral of tears and hoarse-voiced apologies, "Hey- Hey, don't apologize, it's ok, you did nothing wrong, absolutely nothing wrong," I say, "But it's all my fault, it's my fault Donnie's been dreaming I kill myself, it's my fault you're dreaming about me killing others, it's all my goddamn, motherfucking, shitty, asshole, excuse-making fault!" he says, coarse, using up what could possibly the last of his voice for a while, "Mikey.. No.. It was never you're fault, not even the dreams, the dreams are our fault, it's me and Leo's overactive worry and imagination." Donnie says, 'BUT IT IS MY FAULT!' he writes, 'It's all my fault, even if you say it isn't, it always will be.' is all over the paper, written super dark and large letters, we all stay silent, and Mikey, tries writing something, but the pencil lead is out of lead, there are sniffs coming from all of us, and we hug Mikey, trying to make him feel less alone.