His Savior

Ready For More

~Zahara~

               Cory completely freaked out when I told him we need to introduce him to the pack. I know how nerve-racking that can be, especially under these circumstances. I know he is afraid of how the pack will receive him, but he has to have faith that he will be welcomed with open arms.

               Cory and I spent the night in bed, but we just held each other and talked. I always enjoyed talking to Cory, even when it was just a short homeroom class in high school. We would discuss anything and everything, and I always felt so at ease with him. It probably should have occurred to me that he was my mate, but I had no idea.

                We decided a short announcement at dinner the next day would be enough of an introduction. I don't want to over do it for Cory. He is still very timid about many things, and I don't want him to spiral out. My parents agreed that a short introduction at dinner would be the best way to handle this situation.

               I had some reports to finish up during the day, and I know that Cory planned to spend some time training with Lennox. I'm anxiously waiting for him to let me know how everything went. Cory has never trained before, and it should be interesting to see how it goes for him. The fact that he is of Alpha blood should work in his favor, but he has been put through a lot.

               I try to focus on my work, but my mind keeps drifting to the day I had with Cory. Our intense makeout session is all I seem to keep thinking about. I haven't been with anyone at all. It wasn't because I was determined to save myself for my mate. That is a romantic notion, but this is reality, and you never know how long it will take to find your mate. I'm not saying I had planned to date, but I always left it open for intimacy. I don't see anything wrong with not waiting for your mate. Cory waited as well, but it was not his choice.

               I haven't been with anyone because of what happened in high school. I still have no idea who tried to rape me. No one at the party saw anything, and Lennox could not find a scent to track. That experience was traumatizing for me. I'm an Alpha wolf of Alpha blood. I have been training for much of my life, yet when it mattered, I let someone take advantage of me. I can't believe I allowed that to happen. Every time I think about it, I feel sick.

                I did get help and spoke to a therapist about what happened to me, but it didn't really help. The nightmares still came every so often, and my fear was never eliminated. I'm still cautious around people I don't know as well as a few I know. Since that happened to me, I never wanted to feel weak again. I trained even harder than I already was just to make sure I was able to match up with anyone who attacks me again. The other thing was that I had no desire to be with a male. They made me nervous, and I never knew what their intention was. There were many men that I turned down when asked out. I just didn't want to be attached to someone who would try to force me to do anything.

               I enjoyed being with Cory; my body enjoyed it, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to do everything with him. I know he will be gentle and caring, and I know that I don't want to end up alone forever. I should tell him what happened, but I don't know what his reaction would be, so I have been hesitating. Would he get mad that I'm not untouched? Would he not believe that someone tried to have their way with me? There are so many questions that I don't have an answer to, and I don't think that I'm strong enough to find them out. I want Cory and I to be happy and free of drama. I'm starting to doubt that is actually a good thing to admit to.

               I sigh and return to the papers on my desk. I have quite a bit to do since I was gone for a bit. As much as I try to concentrate, my mind keeps going back to that night. I find it weird that no one heard or saw anything. We are wolves, and our hearing is amazing. So how is it that this all seemed to have happened in a collective silent room? No one seeing anything is a bit more believable. It was nighttime and a party. People were easily distracted by others, as well as alcohol.

               The only thing I remember is the person's hand. That raised thing on their hand has stood out in my mind all of this time. I don't know their scent, voice, face or anything about them. I just know how that hand feels on my skin. I can feel it in my nightmares, which always puts me on edge. I wish I could find them, and maybe my fears will dissipate.

               The funny thing is that I'm not afraid of Cory. I want him to be close and I want him to want me. I want him to touch me. I may not have ever been with anyone before, but Cory isn't just anyone. I feel that I can trust him completely, and we would both benefit from making this intimate. I know he wants me too, but he is afraid. He has never been with anyone, and I'd imagine he wants to make sure he knows what he is doing.

               I shake my head, trying to shake these wayward thoughts out. I need to focus so I can get this work completed. Just as I'm about to get back to my work, there is a knock on my door. "Enter." The door opens, and I look up. "Hey Lennox." He looks a little worse for wear, but that is probably just due to training.

               "Uh, hey Z. I just, uh, finished training with Cory." I smile at him.

               "So, how did it go?" The look on Lennox's face is so mixed that it is hard to sort out. One thing is clear, though. Something happened that made Lennox take notice. I wonder what that is.