Kazimir Seasons

/24/

The look of disappointment I saw before. He looked so disgusting and displeased after sex. I wasn't supposed to care but I did.

I fucked myself over I shouldn't have sex. I always end up catching feelings thanks to god this time I know I won't be getting pregnant.

I wanted to throw up. The look in his eyes was so disgusting I found myself holding my tears back. I didn't even know why I cared what he thought.

He just got up and left as if I was some whore off the street. I never felt more embarrassed and Humiliated than I did at this moment.

•••

"You okay mom?" Cupcake asked as we drove back home. "Since we left you just don't seem like you in the world," she said looking as I removed my eyes quickly from the road to my rearview mirror.

She smiled at me as I did the same. She was so beautiful with her little dimple on his display. "Can I buy you candy to make you feel better," those words cause me to laugh?

She never saved money, she always used her birthday money on dolls and candy, never on me. "Aww well thank you baby but do you have candy money?" I asked, knowing she didn't but I was going to buy some anyway.

"Here," she waved a hundred-dollar bill in my face as if it was nothing. Shocked wasn't even the word. "Girl, where did you get this money?" I asked as I kept my eyes on the road.

"I sold three of my halloween candy to Mr.meanie you said 'eat the rich,' " I giggled at her knowing she most likely thought did it and found out she wasn't.

I always said that playing with her but she didn't believe me. "You are going to be a smart business woman baby, the world is not ready for you," she smiled at my words.

I still felt him between my thighs, I woke up and he left never to be found in the house. The service started to work and I even had gas.

Even when he's away he still runs through my mind now more than ever. I hated that he was cocky when he said he'll never be out of my system.

The bubble was a fantasy; he provided me an escape from reality. I promised I wasn't going to fall but no I hated him even more.

On our way home we stopped for ice cream as Autumn insisted. "Hey, nana we are bac-" those words cut short when I see a familiar face.

"Surprise bitch I'm back. I mean excuse my language little one," my best friend Sophie screamed as I ran jumping on her.

"Stop, I'm about to cry, I thought you had another year?" I asked as we both had tears running down our faces. I met Soph during my freshman year when she was a sophomore. We were roommates and she took a liking to me right away.

She was a travel rescue nurse, she was supposed to do three years. She loved giving back and being in action. She said she needed to find meaning and being a free nurse, was it.

"I was but I don't know, I missed home and you were it," she smiled wiping her tears. "You got me being soft and crying," she said, helping me with my tears now.

"Well good because you are also mine and babes this tan on you looks so beautiful," I said admiring how beautiful her brown skin was roasted in sun kiss.

"Yeah Kenya was so beautiful, come here cupcake do you remember me?" She said as Autumn nodded her head. "Well good you're back you can take her now," my nana said pushing Soph out of the way to pick up Autumn.

"Girl I come back you have a stalker now?" She asked as I sigh thinking about him all over again. "Girl yes he was wearing a mask I had to change my number and the police still haven't found him, I've just been trying to not think about that," my tone got low as I felt emotional that night was scary.

No matter how hard I suppressed it, it still happened. "Well, then you and Autumn can tell me all about your weekend." She said beaming as she laced our fingers together moving me to the dining room.

"Yes, baby I wanna hear all about your weekend. I was worried that that damn creepy guy took you but the police reminded me that sometimes it is hard to get service out there in the woods." My nana said, grabbing a seat in the dining room.

"I got a hundred dollars," Autumn beamed, eating her ice cream as she showed off her remaining money. "Well how did you do that Autumn you gotta start teaching me your tricks," my nana pinched her chubby little cheeks.

"It's easy, make rich people buy your chocolate candy," she squeals in excitement. As all of us nodded at how wise she was. She is too smart for her good.

"Well someone doesn't look like they had a good time," my nana said looking at me. "She didn't, she was screaming last night, I told her she gotta be brave if she has nightmares," my eyes widened at her responses as did the other two women.

"My boss was there with us, it's a long story but we ended up staying at his cabin," my words caused my grandma to gasp.

"I knew I should've come Ooh, ahh that fine man," she shook her head in disappointment as I started laughing. She was dramatic.

"Mmhh was he the reason you were screaming," Soph said whispering in my ear. I couldn't even hide the smile on my face.

Sophie knew me so well she smirked and my nana shakes her head in disappointment. "I'll tell you guys tomorrow when you meet Mayra, Soph," she quickly nodded her head as she smiled.

As I head upstairs about to take a shower I'm hit with a million questions. "What the fuck Summer, what happened to your neck? Who did that to you?" Sophie asked when she walked closer and touched my neck. It still stung.

"Did he hurt you?" I shook my head at her question. Pain wise I was sore but it felt so good.

"It was nothing, it was me being stupid. I fucked up Soph, I wasn't but I did and it all just hit me when I least expected it to," she pulls me into a hug and walks me over to the edge of my bed.

"Well when you are ready to talk let me know okay babes," she kissed my forehead and walked out.

•••

Even the second shower since I slept with him and I can't his sent off. The hot water cooled me from the thought of him.

As I stepped out of the shower, I touched my waist where his fingers left marks. It was the best sex I ever had and now it will be a memory.

This is why I didn't sleep with people I became attached to. I should've learned from the first time I did it because it got me pregnant.

Never in a million years would I think I would be having sex withdrawals. I couldn't sleep. He got me twisting and turning on my bed. The control he had over my body killed me and I'll never give it to him again.

Meet Sophie Brown.