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It's four in the morning and I knew I was doomed when I woke for the second time this morning

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It's four in the morning and I knew I was doomed when I woke for the second time this morning. The first was waking up to watch a glimpse of Kaz upbringing and now it was for me to eat something.

"Ughh," I sigh silently and scream in frustration. He had literally no good snacks in this house. His fridge wasn't even helping. Soil milk, eggs, and vegetables. And water bottles as the only beverage. For taste he had liquid IV powders.

The cabinet was filled with nothing but his daily vitamins, protein powder, and green tea. And a box of oats. Everything else was for decoration, to take up the cabinet space. I'll take the sea mose in his fridge and eat it as apple sauce if I had to.

I loved that Kazimir also valued gut health just as much as I did. So many cabinets full with nothing good. Good as in junk food. Like not even the hidden stuff was good.

The man said organic fruits was the only dessert he ate. Guessing since he was out this week he didn't get a chance to buy any.

Or Onna, his personal Russian house cleaner, hadn't come yet. He swore she was real. But since I have known him I don't believe him. I never caught her walking around the house. Or caught another female scent lingering in his house but my own.

He mentioned her once and never again till this day i have yet to see her. It only drives me crazy because I don't know how she looks. I need a face to the name.

I'm starving, and I know it's getting bad when I'm in need of a fresh oatmeal bowl.

"Eww his turning me into him." I spoke to myself as I looked around horrified.

Making the bowl with the soil milk in his fridge I sat at the kitchen island and thought about our conversation. I try not to throw up thinking about Kaz's life story. I was fighting so much urge to keep myself from gagging after every bite.

His story made me realize how I had a village around me my whole life. Little things I can sometimes overlook. I never was alone, not ever. I had times where I felt alone but I was never left on my own.

My parents tried to make amends before Autumn was born but I didn't want to move back home. But they never stopped sending me money for food, clothes, or help pay for my college tuition.

I worked my ass off since high school, that's one thing River never took from me. My passion, I got extra credit during high school. Worked in the nursing home after school.Work my ass off in college after my first semester of partying everyday. I got a study job as a cna while working my ass off in nursing school.

Sadly I realized being pregnant and having a high stress job as a cna didn't work together. So I got something with enough down time as being a patient sitter.

Even when I got my first apartment my parents brought me my furniture while I worked on Autumn's room.

I vowed to myself that I would never move in with a man unless I had a ring. I was twenty and River proposed and plus we were having a child together. Why not try the whole family thing right? I thought wrong.

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