Kazimir Seasons

/6/

You know summer, how easy it is for me to not acknowledge your existence. Just like that, I can pretend if you're nothing in life.

But I can't do that, I even lie to myself who wouldn't want to be a part of your life? So what does a guy like me do I steal, I manipulated and finessed someone else destiny .

Your voice was like an angel song in my ears, it was a reason, and how fucking crazy can I be just to steal someone else destiny because of a voice.

I have watched you from afar right since the day I woke up and noticed you weren't there to see me, all because of him.

He took you away from me so I blamed him, I don't regret it but I had to stop myself from going far. I was so close to killing him but what type of guy would I be?

I had no right to try to take your daughter's father from her so I put him to sleep for a while.  Nothing helped me not think of you.

Therapy was useless, I was too advance in education for them to keep up. They got mad at me because they couldn't figure me out.

So I wrote to you every night, every day I was blessed to wake up and be grateful that I had a chance to think about you again.

For the past two years since I woke up, I wrote to you every day. I wrote about how when I get the chance to get you I would kill myself if I had to live any longer without you. But while I made sure that the world felt my pain and life without you meant a life with no one else.

It pained me when you change your number but then I ran into your grandma at a small coffee shop. I overheard how bad you were looking for a house.

But I'm a gentleman man I wanted you close to family so I got rid of anybody living next door to your grandmother.

So you see love, I am important I'll make sure I'm always important. Nobody would have the chance to prove you otherwise.

But then how would they not tell you otherwise, I know nothing about emotions I just mimic human behavior. It's easy you watch someone and do what they do but to understand someone is sad, lonely, hurt, and can't feel anything.

How selfish I'm I to know this and still want you with me? I can't stop my actions when it comes to you. You invade my mind.

I need control and structure but since you came in I'm losing it and I don't know how'll far I'll go to fix it.  I painted my life future from the type of woman I should marry to family pictures.

She's scared of the elevator, what the fuck was I thinking I should've known this information already. Don't worry love I won't make this mistake again.

As we pass my receptionist she stands up and quickly walks to my new office door and opens it.  Some would say she was beautiful but blondes weren't my type anymore.

No, I was simply into any new hair color Summer had on. She always changed her hair from different braids to different lengths of hair.

"Wow, of course, you get the best view of woodland," she said, walking over to the large glass window.  She smiles as she takes in the beautiful small-town view.

But I knew she felt my gaze on her she looks around the room trying to get a sense of identity. "No family picture no nothing, not even a pet?" She asked as she looked around the plain room.

"Nobody is ever that important to have in a frame as a display or as decoration to reveal that person has a personality,"  I said as I observed her.

"Well, I disagree. I think it's important to show our loved ones off, I think it's beautiful when someone walks into your space and gets a sense of who you are," she said gently as she looked up leaning her head back to meet my gaze.

She never holds it for long, but I master eye contact, something I struggle with at a young age my father thought me and my young brother how dangerous eye contact could be.

Just one look shows how you feel but to show dominance you have to hold it and give them a sense of discomfort that makes them uncomfortable to keep looking.

I walk away as I go to make her get chocolate. I knew just the way she loved her. It's early October and she loves drinking them at this time.

I add marshmallows and extra whipped cream. I feel those brown eyes watching my every move. She thinks it's a coincidence I knew just how she liked it.

"It's still hot give it a few minutes?" I said passing it to her as I walk to sit in my chair. She was confused she just watch me.

"Fuck, that's hot." She hissed "I guess you're also not good at following simple instructions," I said, pulling the cup away from her.

We were only an inch apart I could smell her, she smelled lovely like an angel who was sent to give love and warmth.

"You walk around here cocky as if your dick is big," it's wasn't a question in her voice it was a statement.

"Why don't you get on your knees and open your mouth to measure it, darling?" I question her as I walk closer to her, filling in the distance.

Her eyes widen as her bottom lip drops open. "By the way you are opening your mouth, I'm sure it wouldn't fit darling," I said placing my hand under her chin to pick it up.

Words were fighting to come out but nothing came she was still surprised by my choice of words. The cup of hot chocolate drops to the floor and spills on my shoes.

"Shit I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I felt her heart drip as if I was about to kill her any moment.

"Just leave my office, Ms.Falls," my voice was straightforward and cold. She turns to the office door without meeting my gaze in fear.