We had been on tour for almost a month now. The Pretty Reckless and My Chemical Romance were both rocking it and I couldn't be prouder of any of them. We spent every night together. The girls and I plus the entire band of My Chemical Romance were best friends. Frank and Jamia would occasionally sneak away from our group to go do things we didn't want to know about, but that's the only time they were apart.
Gerard had been acting strange lately, and I wanted to get to the bottom of it.
We had gotten two connected hotel rooms, each with four beds, this time. Overkill? Maybe, but we wanted space. Hayley and Taylor shared a bed, and I slept alone next to them. Ray, Gerard and Mikey each got their own beds. Frank and Jamia shared a bed, but we only allowed them to do that if they agreed not to have sex.
We were currently gathered on a couch watching a movie. I was determined to find out why Gerard was acting so weird. They were all too involved in the movie to notice us. We were watching a horror movie, which meant I was a little more snuggled into his side than friends probably should be. "Gee," I whined quietly, trying not to disturb the others.
"What?" he whispered, looking down at me awkwardly.
"What's wrong? You've been really short with me. Don't tell me it's nothing either! I know you well enough to know when something's wrong," I pouted.
"I'm just a little tired," he murmured.
"You and I both know that's a lie," I scoffed.
"I can't tell you that, okay?" he whispered so that the rest of the group couldn't hear.
"So now you don't trust me. Whatever," I spat, rolling my eyes and scooting a little farther away from him. I was no longer snuggled into his side. I was a bit closer to the other side of the couch where Jamia was on Frank's lap, snuggled into his chest. She was such a baby when it came to horror movies. I crossed my arms and didn't look in Gerard's direction. Two can play at this game, Way.
He sighed and tapped my shoulder. "I don't bite," he said. Suddenly a flashback to when we were sixteen and working on our song together on his bed hit me. He had said that very same thing to me back before we even wanted to date each other. I scooted even farther away from him. "You don't understand, okay?" he snapped. I was once again brought back to one of our many fights as sixteen year olds.
"I don't understand because you won't let me. Face it, Gerard. You don't trust me," I said. Our voice was gradually raising above whispers and we silently decided it would be better to have this discussion in the other room, where we wouldn't bother anybody. We got up and went into the hotel room connected to this one and shut the door behind us so that our yelling wouldn't interrupt the movie. "Tell me what's going on, Gee! I'm your friend too!" I whined.
"That's exactly what's wrong," he mumbled almost inaudibly.
"But you're one of my best friends! Why would that make you act so cold to me?" I asked.
"Stop saying that!" he raised his voice. "That's exactly what my problem is! I love you, Lily, and you're a great friend, but I can't keep being your friend if there's a chance we'll never be in a relationship again! It's too hard! I'm sorry," he said.
"Gee," I mumbled, not knowing exactly what to say.
"Just stop, okay? I'm going to bed. Goodnight, Lily," he snapped, turning around to walk away.
I sighed and grabbed his wrist, preventing him from walking away. He looked confused, but I pulled him closer to me and pressed my lips to his before he could say anything. The kiss was passionate and beautiful. It felt like returning home after being away for years.
