We all sat by in horror as the monotone sound of a flat line on a heart monitor filled the room. Was this really it for Gerard?
We were all too shocked to react. We just sat completely still as the doctor and a few nurses came running in. They started the defibrillator and brought it to Gerard's chest a few times. I felt like my heart had stopped each time. I was hoping and praying that everything would be alright. Samantha squeezed my left hand and Mikey squeezed my right. I hadn't noticed, but we had all joined hands. I didn't know why. Maybe as a form of comfort, maybe as a form of good luck. All I knew is that having us all connected was making the situation slightly more bearable.
Once the steady beeps filled the room again, I started crying tears of joy. I don't think I was the only one either. I could have sworn I saw both Ray and Mikey wipe a stray tear off of their cheeks. I knew for a fact that Mikey was crying.
Once I was met with those familiar hazel eyes I hadn't seen open in nearly a month, I finally started full-on crying. He was alive. This was really happening.
He just looked at us for a while. The new silence left a ringing in my ears that I absolutely hated. Gerard looked like he was trying to talk. I don't think he wanted to be the one to break the silence either. "How long was I in a coma?" he croaked weakly.
"A little over three weeks," Ray answered.
"Why'd you save me? This isn't what I wanted," Gerard snapped.
"Because you're my best fucking friend. I wasn't gonna let you die. Plus, I'm not even the one who saved you. Lily and Samantha are. I suggest you fucking thank them, Gerard. How do you think the fans would like reading that their idol was found fucking dead in an alley lying in his own piss?" Frank asked.
"I don't give a fuck about the fans. Plus, I'm nobody's idol," Gerard scoffed. "Thanks a fucking lot, Lily," he said sarcastically. "Why are you even here?"
I felt tears well up in my eyes. "Good question. Why am I here? Maybe because I still love you, you fucking idiot," I snapped. "C'mon Sam. I don't feel comfortable here anymore," I scoffed. I stood up and got ready to leave.
"Jesus fucking Christ, Gerard. Why can't you just leave her alone for once? She saved your ass!" Hayley said. I knew it was serious when Hayley cursed.
"I'm not in the mood for this shit," Gerard paused. "Just go."
I looked at him sadly and the girls and I all left. We all walked back to the hotel and I started crying again. Jamia opened her phone.
"Guess we're going back to New Jersey," Jamia said.
"What?" Taylor asked, her voice full of shock.
"Frank used some of the leftover tour funds that we have since we cancelled it to get us all tickets to New Jersey. Gerard's gonna be going to rehab over there," Jamia said.
"So... We're going home? We're all gonna live separately again?" I asked sadly. "I'm gonna miss you guys," I cried.
"I have nowhere to go," Taylor mumbled quietly, clearly thinking none of us heard her.
"What do you mean?" Samantha asked.
"It's a long story," Taylor whispered.
"We have time," Jamia said.
"When I first started smoking, it wasn't just smoking. I did drugs. I drank. I was addicted to everything. My parents kicked me out that year I met you. I had no money. I had nothing. The only friend I had was Hayley, who I met in our freshman year. Her family let me live with them. Me and Hayley have sort of been sisters since high school. That's the main reason we always share beds and shit. She's basically my sister. Her parents are my parents since mine don't love me," she sighed.
"I'm so sorry Tay," I whispered. She shrugged.
"It's alright," she said.
"Why don't you just live with us again?" Hayley asked.
"Hayley, it's been three years. I know you say I'm not intruding, but I know I am. I mean, look how they raised you. Straight A student, could've gotten into any college you wanted. You don't smoke, you don't drink, and you barely even curse. You're the perfect specimen of daughter. I'm shit, Hayley. I mean, I quit the drugs, I quit the booze, but I still smoke and curse and disobey everything. I see your parents trying to change me. I can't be changed. I love the Williams family with all my heart, but I can't keep intruding. I'm sorry Hayley," Taylor sobbed.
"Tay, you're not intruding. We love having you. You're a Williams now," Hayley said.
"That's sweet of you, but I'm a Momsen. I always will be a Momsen. Here's the thing about Momsens; we're assholes," Taylor said.
"Why don't you all stay with us? We'll figure all of this shit out when Gerard's back and everything is somewhat normal. We'd love having both of you," Sam said.
"Are you sure? I'm kind of a pain in the ass," Taylor said.
"I'm positive," Samantha confirmed. "Now go get packed so we can leave tomorrow morning," she ordered jokingly. We all started packing.
The guys got home with Gerard a while later. They took shifts of one of them staying awake to supervise Gerard. Eventually they all fell asleep, but luckily Gerard really didn't try anything.
We all left for the airport at 7:00 AM. I dreaded having to get used to the three-hour time difference New Jersey had from California. I sat by Samantha on the entire flight and it reminded me of the day she became my guardian. We were flying from California to New Jersey that day too.
Not much happened on the flight. After all, it was only a three hour flight. When we got off at the airport, Frank rented a car for the time until he got home to his own car. It was 2:00 PM in Belleville. That means it was early enough for Frank to get Gerard to rehab.
We all stood in the middle of the airport, not really wanting to go home yet. "I'm gonna go take Gerard and Mikey back to Don and Donna, but Gerard's going to rehab tonight," Frank said. We nodded in agreement. Frank, Ray, and Mikey all loaded into the rental car and left. We waved goodbye to them.
"My car's still here from when I first left for California. Let's go," Samantha said. We silently followed her to the car and headed home. I was too worried for Gerard to really speak. How would he react when the time came to finally go to rehab?
"I'm kinda jet-lagged, so I'm gonna go take a nap. Don't break anything," Samantha laughed. We were all tired. Once she went up to bed, everybody but me sort of fell asleep on the couch. I couldn't stop my mind from racing for long enough to sleep. I looked at the date; October 14th, 2006. It had almost been a month since Gerard and I last broke up; September 19th. That adds another month to our long-running total of months spent apart.
Maybe it was better if we stayed broken up this time. I mean, sure it'd hurt, but in the end, I'd get through this. I always do.
I also remembered that My Chemical Romance's new album was due to come out in just ten days.
The fans were gonna hate him.
But what was more important to me was that I didn't think we'd be getting back together this time
And that's what made it the day I lost it all.
