*~Gerard's P.O.V~*
We had been on tour for almost a month, and it's been hell. I mean, I love being on stage, and the fans are great, but touring with Lindsey has really been hell. I've been distant to everybody. All I want is Lily.
Right now Lindsey and I were sitting around in the seating area. The same seating area that Lily and I used to sit at. I hated being here with Lindsey.
"Babe, I'm sick of this. You need to tell me what's wrong," Lindsey said.
"It's nothing. I'm just worn out from tour I guess," I sighed.
"This is about Lily isn't it?" she sighed and looked into my eyes sadly.
"N-no," I stammered. Lindsey was good at reading me.
"You still love her. I know that. I guess I just hoped that, someday, maybe, you'd love me like you love her," Lindsey murmured.
"Linds-" I started. She cut me off.
"I really wanted you to myself, but there's no denying that you'll never love me like you love her." I had no response, so I just let her continue. "You need to call her. I know you want to. Just go to her. Don't worry about me," Lindsey sighed.
"R-really?" I asked. "A-are you sure?"
She nodded. "I'm sure, Gerard. All of those years I had the biggest crush on you. I just wanted you to be mine, and I wanted to steal you from Lily. But being on tour with you and seeing you like this made me realize that you're not going to be happy unless you're with Lily. I really want you to be happy, Gerard, and if that's not with me... I'll just have to deal with it," she said. I hugged her tightly.
"Thank you so much, Lindsey. I'm so sorry that this relationship didn't work out how you wanted it to. You're an amazing girl. You'll find better than me anyway," I said. She kissed my cheek and hugged me back.
"It's no problem, Gee. I just want you to be happy. I'm sorry for all of these years I treated you and your friends like shit, and I'm especially sorry for everything I said about Lily. I was just jealous that you loved her more than me. I'm not jealous anymore. She's a great girl. You deserve to be happy," Lindsey said. She pulled away from the hug and smiled at me. "Now what are ya waiting for? Go call her!" Lindsey ordered playfully. We both started laughing and I walked off into a more private area of the bus to call Lily.
I dialed her number, which I knew by heart, and waited for her to pick up.
"Hello?" I heard Lily's voice say. Just hearing her voice again gave me butterflies.
"Lily? It's Gerard," I said.
"What do you want?" she snapped.
"I want you, okay? I miss you. I know I fucked up bad, and that kills me. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I almost killed you. I'm sorry for everything, Lily."
"Gerard, stop. You can't keep coming back every time I think I'm over you."
"P-please."
"I'm just sick of waiting for you, okay? When I first met you, I waited for you to stop hating me. I waited for you to get sober. You cheated on me and I waited two years for you to come back. You came back and I waited for you to get sober again. I waited to be able to trust you again, and look where that got me! By the time I was done waiting, you'd already moved on! I waited for you to break up with Lindsey, and you never did! I waited for you to come back or at least try to talk to me after I kissed you, and you never fucking did. I'm done waiting for you, Gerard. It gets me nowhere."
"I...I'm s-so sorry."
"Gerard, you have Lindsey now. I hope you two are real happy together, because I'm done. I'm done waiting for you. I'm done letting you hurt me."
"Me and Lindsey broke up."
"You're only calling me because you're lonely, aren't you? Jesus Christ, Gerard! You can't handle not getting what you want, can you?" she shouted.
"It's not because I'm lonely! We broke up because I didn't love her! I love you!"
"You should have remembered that before you moved on without me," she said. Then the line went dead. She had hung up. I held my face in my hands and started crying. I really fucked up this time. There was no denying that.
"Gerard, we're at the venue. C'mon," Frank said. I followed him out to the venue and held back my tears the entire time as I was getting ready. I didn't feel much like performing. I just wanted to lay in my bunk and cry all day. She was right. I've hurt her too many times. I didn't deserve her forgiveness. I'm an asshole.
As I performed, she was still on my mind. I almost cried while singing I Don't Love You. It was the song she had written about me back in high school. She had given me permission to use it on the album because I was having writer's block one day, and it fit the theme of the album.
After the performance, I just ran right back out to the bus. I didn't even feel like interacting with any fans today. I just wanted to be alone.
"I take it it didn't go well," I heard a familiar female voice behind me say.
I shook my head. "She says I hurt her too bad. She's probably right," I sighed.
"It'll take time, Gee. You can't just give up on her. Sometimes girls like her do stuff like this because they want to be reminded that you care enough to fight for them. Maybe she just needs to know that you still care and can be trusted," Lindsey said. I smiled.
"Do you really think she'll come back to me eventually?" I asked hopefully.
"I do think so. It was obvious she loved you. Somewhere inside of her, there still has to be that love for you. Love that strong doesn't just die like this. Maybe it's just hidden itself away," she said. I hugged her.
"Thank you Linds. God, I don't know what I'd do without you," I said. She laughed.
"It's no problem, Gee. You deserve to get your Lily back," she said. She pulled away from the hug and then walked away. "I have to go catch up with the rest of the band. I'll see you later," she said.
"Bye Linds," I said, waving to her. I felt a lot happier now.
I was going to get Lily back.
