This is not a love story.
It's about a girl, who no longer wants to shine in the spotlight.
A girl who no longer wants to be the villain.
A girl who no longer wants her husband.
A girl who finally took off her blindfold, and embrace her second chan...
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A V A
My fingers were tangled, much like my thoughts, but my emotions were as clear as a crystal.
I know what I'm feeling - my emotions weren't a hurricane chaos but rather a heavy rain.
I'm sad.
"So-" Dr.Cordova clicks his pen, "what brings you in today?"
"My scheduled session." Still using humor as a coping mechanism, I see.
Instead of laughing, he said: "Anything new happened?"
"Remember when we talked about projections last time?"
"Yes."
"How I'm potentially projecting my insecurities into Eli?"
He adjusted his seat, maybe proud of himself for pushing some sort of development in one of his clients. "Yes."
"Well, we made up."
Dr.Cordova smiles, "That's good, no?"
I exhale, "Yeah. And I finally got to figure out the big secret."
"Secret?"
"Yeah. Secret." After Eli told me his secret, I blacked out. Not the type of blackout where you fainted - I wished - but the ones where you couldn't really think of a response.
Any type of response would've worked, but nothing came out.
Ah, I remember the term now.
I blanked.
"And now, it made sense."
"What makes sense?"
"Everything."
The clock strikes the end time of our session. Somehow, an hour passes by in a blink of an eye. The sentences we exchanged were short, but the silence was unnervingly long.
I can tell Dr.Cordova wanted to continue our session, but that would be unfair to his next client.
I'm not the only one with problems.
The drive home drew me blank, and soon, I found myself on the side of the freeway with tears dripping down my cheeks.
The silent cry quickly became a deafening one.
I can't breathe.
I hold my chest.
I can't breathe.
My forehead crashed against the car wheel, and I allowed myself to validate these emotions.
I don't know how I did it, but I somehow end up in front of my house. The tears were long gone, and what happened not too long ago seems like a distant memory.
I turned off the engine and exhaled briefly before I got out of the car.
