ROMEO (book 1)

25. DELILAH

Behind the apartment complex there's the area where the smokers are allowed, and also where all the garbage bins are. It stinks, but there's this cute little racoon that is amusing me.

I bring my knees to my chest, looking at the racoon.

I wonder how peaceful life would be as an animal; like a cat or something. They just get to lay around all day, eat and sleep, not feel complex emotions.

Goosebumps start to form on my arms, in a months time it will be Christmas, I was going to get Romeo a nice watch, I'm saving for it. It's why I took on the extra work at University, so that I could afford this nice watch for him.

I look at the raccoon holding an old fry to its mouth, nibbling and the potato.

I'm so cold. I just left the apartment. My entire life i have been used for other people. Nobody ever values what I want to do, what I want to feel. They just have me for a while and then use me until they have what they want.

My mom and dad, it was the abuse. The kept me until I stopped letting them abuse me, until I finally learned to stick up for myself.

Now for Romeo, it's sex.

I feel a tear roll down my cheek and gently wipe it away, trying to keep quiet so I don't scare off the racoon.

I don't want to be used anymore. I know I deserve better than that, I deserve better than what people give me. But i can't get anything better. It's like the world just wants me to be miserable.

It wants me happy until it doesn't. It wants me to feel loved until it turns around and smacks me in the face for being so delusional.

Falling for somebody who doesn't feel emotions? What is wrong with me?

I could feel a presence behind me and a second later, they take the seat beside me.

It's not Romeo.

I move my head a little bit and catch a glimpse of a tattoo on the side of a bald head.

"Here, słoneczko." Jakub puts a blanket around my shoulders. "What's wrong, hm?"

I rub my lips together, my eyes following the raccoon as it hides under the dumpster.

"Delilah." He nudges my shoulder gently, "Can you at least come inside? It's cold and I don't want you to catch a cold."

I don't like talking whenever i'm sad. I uncontrollably start crying and Jakub doesn't need to see my ugly crying face, i would scare him. He would get to see how annoying I actually am.

When I don't answer him again, he places his arm around my shoulder, gently guiding my head to his shoulder.

It's pathetic that that small act of touch made me break down in tears.

"Shh, come on." He strokes my hair, "What's going on?"

"I just want to feel wanted." Is all I manage to get out before the tears take control over my whole body.

And he just lets me cry into him.

He lets me cry as he keeps me warm. He's really warm. I wish I was warm all of the time. Instead, i'm the opposite. I'm so cold.

After what seemed of like an hour of me crying to this guy I hardly know. I calmed down.

"I'm sorry-"

"Don't you dare apologise for having emotions, Delilah." He looks at me, his bright blue eyes looking at mine. "What happened?"

"Can we go inside?" I ask. I know it's all a matter of minutes before Romeo comes searching for me.