ROMEO (book 1)

71. DELILAH

I wake up and Romeo was watching me sleep again. His hollow eyes drop to mine and he wipes his nose.

I turn around and Ilaria was still asleep.

I sit up. He holds a robe out and I pull it over my body, tying it around my waist.

He laces our fingers together and leads me out of the room without saying a word. He takes me downstairs onto the patio where the sun was just rising, the view looked beautiful.

There was already covered food on the table, drinks too.

He sits on the outdoor couch and then pulls me ontop of him. "I'm going to talk and then you're going to talk, okay?"

I nod my head.

He plays with my hair.

"I'm sorry for last night. I shouldn't have drank and I shouldn't have confronted you like that but I'm not sorry for everything that I said. I meant it. I miss the old you, before I dragged you into all of this. I miss the happy you and the memories we made doing stupid shit. I miss you being mouthy to me instead of just falling for my word. I miss the old you."

"I know it will be hard for you, Delilah. But I don't find any woman as conventionally attractive as how I find you and that is because I love you. No one else appeals to me. I want you, you only. I fucked up in the past, I know that. But i can't change the past and if I could, I would. I can't though. I just have to deal with it and we just have to overcome everything that happened together."

"You need to go back to therapy. For your PTSD and for your eating diorder and you need to heal, baby. You can't keep telling me that it's alright, it's a lie. I know you're not alright. I can't read your body language either. I can't understand it. I can't decipher if you're lying or not. If you feel like shit or have bad thoughts... tell me. Please, tell me. If that's the only thing you change, tell me. I need to know."

"You're also going to eat three meals a day, I don't care if they're small and you're going to get healthy before you even think about stepping foot in a gym again. I don't care if you find me demanding at the moment. You're not hurting yourself for me any longer." He takes a breath. "Your turn."

I just keep my head rested against his chest.

"Delilah?"

"I'm awake." I lift his hand up. "I'll do whatever just... I want you to come to therapy with me sometimes. And I want boundaries."

"Name them."

"I don't want you to go the strip club without me. It'll only make me insecure."

"Done."

"And I want a just us day..."

"Every Friday?"

"Whenever. Just... we do something we used to do."

He kisses the top of my head, "Anything else?"

"I want you to understand that recovery is going to take ages and sometimes I'm going to have bad days."

"I already understand that."

I get off his lap, "Do you really hate the new me?"

"I don't like it." He says truthfully. "But I still love you. I just want us to be better."

I nod my head, tucking my hair behind my ears. "Are you still going to therapy?"

"Been too busy with you but once you're settled I'm going back."

I nod my head. I feel bad. I just feel so selfish.

He takes the lid off to reveal fruit, he eats a lot of fruit. I wasn't hungry.