Xandra | My mom's best friend

Christmas

My trembly hand moved weakly to the wooden door as I tried to fight my tears and sobs. It was quiet. Too quiet. All I could hear was my shaky breath. I knocked, but there was no answer so I knocked once again and still no answer. I touched the cold doorknob and pressed it. As I entered the house, there was no one to be seen. Of course, I thought that my old friend could be gone somewhere. But why would Martin not lock his door before leaving?

Martin was always a cautious person and it was something unusual for him to forget things. I slowly made my way to the living room. I gasped when I saw Martin laying on the floor with his eyes closed. I felt how panick was travelling through my body. "No no no no." I said to myself as I rushed to him and checked his pulse. My vision was blury because of my teary eyes. "Please.." I wasn't really good with medicine and I couldn't find his pulse so it took me a while, but in the end I felt a small movement under my two finger. His pulse! I rushed to grab my phone.

"911! What's your emergency?"...

***

I stood up all night in the hospital. I couldn't sleep. But could you blame me? My friend almost died last night. I was informed by the doctors, after - of course- lying about being related to him, that Martin was very sick and there's no cure for it. It was heartbreaking.

In the morning, Martin was finally up and I was able to talk to him. I stood there next to him on a chair and we talked about lots of things. When I told him about Xandra, I felt somehow relieved. He was very understanding and comforted me the whole time.

***

Shortly after Martin got into the hospital, my mother came back home. She - obviously- had to visit Xandra multiple times and she also had to try to make me go with her, but as much as I craved to see the blonde, I had to force myself not to go. How could I? Everything would've been so... Weird.. Awkward..

Yes, I might have convinced my mom to let me spend my time at home while she was visiting her friend, but that only lastes 'till Christmas.

"You're coming. And I don't care if you don't want to." she said as she searched for her car keys. I sighed and went into my room, deciding to at least dress up nice. After I put on some clothes and applied a little makeup, I went downstairs and waited for my mom.

When my mom parked her car in front of Xandra's house, I felt how my heart started to speed its peace and for some reason my hands started to get sweaty. Following my mother, we walked together and waited after she knocked on the wooden door. It didn't take long for Xandra to open it and, as she did so, my breathing fastened. The woman looked straight into my eyes, before bringing her attention to my mom. "Hi! Merry Christmas!" My mom hugged Xandra.

We were sat at the table. There were three more girls and I assumed those were Xandra's friends. One of them was called Lucy, another one went by Iris and I didn't get the third one's name. Anyways, the women were eating and talking while I was moving my food around in the plate and sometime eating small mouthfuls of it. The food looked delicious but I didn't feel like eating anything.

After a while, I excused myself and went to the bathroom. Standing in front of the mirror, I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths. It was hard to see Xandra and act like nothing happened. Everytime I looked up at her, I was getting flashbacks of us in the pool and it made my heart almost jump out of my chest. So I decided to bring it up to her, wanting to get it out off my chest.

Making my way back to the dinning room, I heard noises coming out from the kitchen and so I went inside. Xandra's back was facing me as she was looking for something in the oven. I cleared my throat making the woman jump a little. She turned around and looked directly into my eyes. "X-Xandra?" I forced myself to speak. It was easier into the bathroom when her eyes weren't staring into my soul. "Can we.. Talk?" Xandra seemed hesitant and I knew she already knew what I was thinking about. "When we.. Uh.. Kiss-"

"I told you to forget about it!" She cut me off, without showing any emotion. "But I.. I can't. It's been on my mind ever since and I can't stop thinking about the weird feeling when we... When we kissed." Her eyes seemed to soften for a few seconds until she started to slowly shake her head. "Feeling?! You're delusional. You're nothing but my friend's child. The kiss was a mistake and so I'm asking you again to forget about it." she said before turning back around to check the oven. My eyes were starting to feel that usual burning again as they were getting filled with tears. I never knew how much some simple words can hurt someone. Everything felt like a nightmare. I wanted to wake up and realize it was all just a bad dream. I wiped my tears away, trying my best to be as strong as I could, and walked back into the dinning room were my mom and Xandra's friends were having a deep conversation about politics. I tried to concentrate on their words so I couldn't let my tears fall. Delusional...

Xandra came back too shorly after with some cupcakes and placed them on the table. For the rest of the night she didn't even look at me, but I... I couldn't take my eyes off her. Me and her weren't even friends at least anymore.. Why didn't I feel like my heart was skipping beats whenever I saw her smiling? Was there something wrong with me? Was I breaking apart? Dying? Or even worse.. Was I starting to get feelings for my mom's best friend?...