Xandra | My mom's best friend

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I had to tell him..

I was sitting in front of the familiar wooden door. I had no clue how Martin would react but he had the right to know the truth about his nephew.

"Hi, old man." I smiled, closing the door behind me. "Old? Look at me! I could pull any woman." he joked. I giggled at his silliness, but my smile faded away fast. "What's wrong, A?" he seemed concerned.

"My mom.. She found out about me and Xandra." Martin knew about me and the older woman. He was very supportive and told me that if I have feelings for someone, I shouldn't just push them away.

"What happened?" he furrowed his eyebrows, patting the chair next to his bed. He wasn't looking the best. He was a lot more skinny and he didn't seen to have any power in his body. It made me sad seeing him like that.

"Well.. Someone sent my mom a picture of me and Xandra in the park. We were y'know.. Kissing. And my mother wasn't so happy about it. I mean.. I totally understand her. If my child would be kissing my best friend, I wouldn't be very happy either." I explained. I could see the pity in the old man's ocean blue eyes. "I'm sorry, Ava. I don't even know who would do such things." he said.

There was a dead silece for a while. "It was Joy." I said. "What?" he seemed stunned. "Your nephew... He sent the pictures to my mom."

"I- Are you sure? Why would he even do that?" he asked. "Well he threatened me before, but I didn't think he would do much. Me and him.. We know eachother before you introduced him to me. We met at a hotel and he was nice at the beggining, but things went wrong soon. The point is now he hates me because I rejected him." I answered. I noticed the sadness on his face. "I'm sorry, Martin."

"Don't be." he sighed. "I'm sorry. I don't even know why I trusted him.. Why would he suddently want to visit me while I'm old and almost dead. He's probably only here for legacy." I felt horible. "Don't say that! You must live. Who else is going to take care of the pastry?" I tried to cheer him up. But he just gave me a warm smile.. As if he knew something..

***

I was running. But I wasn't controling anything. My legs were moving by themselvs. My brain was telling me to stop, but my legs were winning the argument. I was soon in front of her door. I felt small. My heart wasn't at a normal peace and I was shaking. I took a few breaths as my trembly hand moved and knocked three times.

A few seconds passed by before Xandra opened. At first, her eyes were filled with happines. She looked at me with so much warmth. She wqs happy to see me, but that, of course, changed soon enough. She had on the cold, and blank stare she always used to have. She was staring at me as if I were nothing. As if I was just a stranger to her.

"What?" she asked. Her tone wasn't very welcoming. I looked at her. I was feeling so hurt in that moment. I didn't know what reaction I was expecting from her, but that was totally not it.

"Please don't do this to me.." I spoke so quietly, my voice almost came out as a whisper. I closed my eyes because of that burning sensation that was forming. I didn't want to cry but a tear fell, unexpectedly. I opened my eyes, looking once again at the beautiful woman in front of me.

Her cold stare was gone. I saw into her eyes such an unusual look. I could see them getting teary. She looked around before taking my wrist and quickly pulling me inside. As soon as she closed the door, the woman pushed me harshly against the cold wall. Her hands cupped my cheeks as she was only a few inches away from me. I stared into her brown and mesmerizing eyes. Her vanilla scent was filling my nostrils and I felt so good. She moved even closer. So close that I could feel her warm breath on my face. "Kiss me!" she whispered. That's all I needed to hear. I instantly broke the distance between us and kissed her as if it was the last day on earth.

Everything felt like it was spinning and I loved it. After I pulled away, her eyes were still closed. I saw a tear rolling down her face. As she finally looked at me, I saw the guilt written on her face. "I'm sorry.. I had to taste you one last time." I furrowed my eyebrows, not wanting to hear the woman's next words.

"We can't see eachother anymore." She added. That was it. The one thing I was always affraid of. Rejection.

I scoffed in disbelief. "But.. I don't want that." I rose my face. "Oh please. You'll get over it. You have to!" she said taking out one of her ciggaretes. Letting out another scoff, I left the house. I was standing there, on her porch, waiting for the woman to open the door and tell me she didn't mean any of that. She didn't.

I walked home, crying and sobbing. I didn't care about anything. I didn't care about what people would think. I just wanted the pain to stop.

I entered the house. My mom was sitting on the sofa, watching the TV. "Where have you been?" she asked. I scoffed one more time, rolling me eyes. She was the one who destroyed everything. It's not like I can control my feelings. It's not like I want to have feelings for her friend.

"I hate you." I said before running upstairs, crying as if my life depended on it.