So, Love

Part 11

You shrugged. "Fine."

Turned on your heel, anger boiling your blood. You heard Raph say something but ignored him as you stalked out. You could hear him scrambling, but didn't slow.

The rooms moving by you in a blur.

"Whoa."

That caught your attention. You pulled up, catching Donnie at the table, microwave going again.

"Where are you off to in such a hurry?"

You blinked. "Uh." Shrugged. "I did tell them you were turtles." Watched Donnie's head cock at the admission. "And Raph told me to leave because I-"

Donnie sighed as the microwave dinged. "You're not going anywhere."

You frowned, "I can leave if I-"

He slapped your wad of cash on the counter. "We aren’t holding you prisoner," he rubbed the bridge of his nose behind his glasses. "But this is the safest place for you right now."

"How'd you get this?"

"It was with what's left of your clothes." Donnie sat. "Figured you probably needed it more than we do."

You moved to the chair beside Donnie, thumbing the money, pushing it away, putting your head to the table. "I'm sorry."

You heard Donnie pause. "For what?"

"Telling them anything."

"Pfsh." Donnie waved it off. "You were under duress." He took a sip. "Besides, you could have given them much more, and you didn't."

You peeked at him, frowning. "I could have?"

Maybe you imagined his smile, it was gone so fast. "Yeah." He was playing on his phone. "You knew where we waited for the kids. You know when they get off the bus and where. You could have described the clothes we were- well," he amended. "Not so much me." Hand waved off the addendum. "But the point stands."

You straightened, "I didn't even think of it."

"Course not." Eyes raised to pin you. "You are a good person. You gave as little away while still saving your own skin. Besides, the Foot knew what and who we were."

That got your attention. "What, really?"

"Yeah." Raph lumbered into the room, rubbing the back of his head at Donnie's glare. "Back when we were teens. They attacked the place. Nearly killed Splinter."

"Oh shit." Your eyes widened.

"Obviously we're fine." Donnie leveled a look at Raph.

"Is that where you got your-" you motioned to your chest.

Raph blanched. "No."

"You know how the Foot basically vanished?" Donnie twirled his cup in his hands. "We did that."

"Turns out," Raph seemed to be warming back up, "they were working with kraang."

You frowned, "The aliens?"

Donnie nodded. "Oh yeah. Had a whole 'world domination' plan going." He lowered his hands. "It got…" he shifted his gaze to Raph. "Bad."

"When was that?" You frowned, trying to think how long Todd said pickings had been slim for.

"Early December?" Raph drummed his fingers on the table top.

You felt your brows rise. "A couple months ago." You nodded. "That's when they stopped reaching out too." Your eyes dropped to Raph's healed wound. "Oh." Awareness dawned on you. "That's new."

Raph covered his scar. Shrugged.

"Well." Donnie looked between you two and stood. "I trust you won't run off?"

You glanced at Raph, who looked away. You nodded. "I won't."

Donnie sighed as he left the room. The silence between you and Raph stretched. You grabbed the money, dragging it toward you. Trying to think of what to say. Not wanting to say a word.

"I-" Raph started, drawing your attention. "I shouldn't have freaked out."

You rested your chin on the table, rolling your eyes.

"Don made some…" it sounded like it hurt him to say, "really good points and I just-" He sighed. "I just."

You watched him, not offering any quarter. His fingers tangling. Raph shifting on his chair. The way his eyes would flit to you and back away.

"I dunno." He glared at his hands. "I freak out and take it out on other people sometimes." He blinked, "not that that's an excuse."

"No." You drawled. "It isn't."

He stiffened, looked at you. "I'm trying here." Raph's voice ground out.

"Good." You sat, patting out a rhythm on the table. "You should. That was real shitty of you."

He gave his head a little shake, like he couldn't believe you. "Excuse me?"

You narrowed your gaze on him. "If this is your attempt at an apology, it's a real pathetic one."

"You-" you could feel his anger rising, taking a perverse pleasure in watching him actively calm down. "You're right." The word growled between his clenched teeth. "I'm sorry."

You sighed, "well, that's progress." Hands stilled. "I'm sorry too." You breathed. "I should have been upfront about… everything."

Raph's eyes narrowed. "Dee was right." He shrugged. "You didn't reveal what you could have." A derisive chuckle. "Hell, you didn't have to tell us." You could see the wheels in his head turning. "Why did you?"

You bit your lip. Shrugged. "You know." You hadn't expected this emotional rollercoaster so early in the morning. "You… I don't know. You treated me like a person." It was your turn to be uncomfortable. "You talked to me. Saw me." A hand to your chest. "So many people look through us, ignore us. It was just so nice to get validation. Like I existed." Ran a hand through your hair. "And, you know." 

You glanced at Raph. Held his gaze. "I trusted you. You made me feel… safe?" You hid your face behind your hand. "That sounds stupid, I barely knew you then. I don't know you much more now-"

Raph looked uncomfortable. "I'm… really glad you feel that way. Er." His gaze lifted. "Felt? That way?"

You shrugged. "I like you and your brothers." You thought for a second, snorted. "And your dad. Where is he, anyway?" You looked around.

"Meditating." You turned your attention back to Raph. "He does that more often now."

"Oh." You sat back, crossing your legs on your seat. "Not to bring up an awkward topic but, what were you and Leo arguing about?"

Rage crossed Raph's face again. You regretted asking.

"He wants to use you as bait." Raph's fist clenched.

"Bait?" That piqued your interest.

"Put a tracker in you, have you go tomorrow. Then we-" fist met palm.

You looked at him. His fist retracted from the motion. "I'd do it."

"But-"

You shrugged. "I mean. It's the least I can do, considering."

Raph tensed. "Didn't you hear?" He motioned in Donnie's direction. "You didn't do anything wrong. It was probably the most rational decision you could make."

"But I feel like I did something wrong." You frowned.

"If it's because I lost it, don't." Raph stood, sat again. "That's not a reason to put yourself in danger-"

"Raph." You sighed, cutting him off. "I'm hungry."