So, Love

Part 12

You relaxed on the couch, legs crossed, blanket tucked around you. That same old sci-fi cartoon playing. Mikey had migrated to his bedroom while you were eating, but Raph had followed you around like a puppy.

You didn't mind sharing space with him. It was actually kind of nice. No pressure, no fighting. A sort of silent agreement to repair the relationship with distance.

"Ooh!" He tapped your leg with the back of his hand. "Did you catch that?"

"No, what?" You turned to the TV, squinting.

"Right there, that was an Easter Egg for the next movie." Raph looked at you, cleared his throat. "I enjoy this series." His voice calmer.

"I can tell." You couldn't hide your smile. "It's cute."

Raph grumbled a little, shifting to lean on the other side of the couch, covering his face with a hand.

"When does Leo get back?" You stretched, blinked.

You were tired.

Raph shook his head. "Whenever he's done fuckin' the wife."

That response startled you both. You turned to look at one another, shocked, at the same time. Raph broke eye contact first, withering, as you tried to stifle your laughter.

"Wh-" you snorted. "What kinda resentment is that?" You were almost crying.

"Okay, okay." Raph rolled his eyes, "It's not that funny."

"I find it hilarious." Your laughter fading, you wiped at your eyes. "Oh that was good. Poor Leo."

"Poor Leonardo?" Raph narrowed his gaze at you. "Leo's got a whole family outside of us now."

The sudden venom made you straighten, all mirth gone.

"He has-" Raph cut himself off, fist clenching.

You scooched closer. "Are you lonely, Raphael?" Putting your hand over his.

You felt his hand tense, twitch like he was going to pull away. Raph exhaled heavily, looked at you. Shifted to face you.

"Yeah." His face twisted when he said it. Like it was painful to admit. "Everyone here has something else. Leo's got his family, Donnie has his tech, Mikey has his…" Raph swirled his hand in the air. "Charisma, I guess." He looked at his hand, poked yours on top of it. "All I've got is them."

You started to understand, keeping your voice level. "So, trusting people outside the family is hard for you?"

He scoffed. "I-" deflated. "Yeah. When we were teens we were exposed." Shoulders rolled. "They called us monsters." Brows furrowed as he clenched a three fingered hand. "Monsters."

"You aren't, you know." You leaned closer, knees touching.

"I know that." Raph brushed it off like it was old hat. "And afterwards we were lauded as heroes in front of the police force. Given keys to the city." Teeth clenched on his tooth pick. "But that stuck. Monsters."

You sighed, rubbing his hand. Putting your head on his shoulder. "You need so much therapy." You teased gently.

"Do… do you forgive me?" He sounded so insecure. "For earlier?"

You peered up at him, shook your head. "I don't want to. But I can't stay mad." 

"Good." He sagged, pulling you on top of him. "Cuz I needed this." His hand stroked up and down your back.

"This?" You didn't resist, laying your head on his chest as the cartoon continued in the background.

You heard his heart stutter, quicken. His fingers slid under your chin.