After a series of unfortunate events took place in the family's life, one person has been ripped away from them. Now it is Jay's mission to find his husband whom he hurt so much.
Will he manage to find Notch again? Or is he forever lost to the unfo...
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I had expected significantly worse things to happen after the realms left us, but that wasn't the case. Somehow we were all still safe, and things seemed to have calmed down for now too. Tho I shouldn't exactly jinx it, I really enjoyed this silence in front of the fire place. It seemed oddly soothing and I needed that right now. My head had stopped hurting, so I had taken that time to clean my crown a bit. A selfish, ignorant dictator that gives no attention towards those that need it... A king that doesn't deserve his crown, but a punch in the face to get him back onto the ground of facts and rational actions. I had heard many accusations along these lines, and usually they never bothered me. However when Nightmare had described my behavior towards Jubilea with those exact words, I felt like throwing up upon holding the crown within my hands. I have turned into the one thing I never wanted to be towards Jub. An abusive cunt that showed no remorse whatsoever, going as far as to rape the person I loved so dearly. The cramping feeling in my stomach appeared again and I felt like I wanted to vomit. Fuck, I'm pathetic... He's already mentally at his limits, keeping things from me that would make me traumatized, while attempting to keep himself stable around others so they wouldn't use him. And I have taken his issues and destroyed the walls around him in the worst way physically possible. I lowered the crown, closing my eyes. How does he still trust me after the shit I have pulled? This isn't fair, I'd deserve to rot in hell for this... I felt something lie down on my lap and opened my eyes, immediately being met by Jub's green and orange eyes. He looked concerned, seemingly having noticed my reaction right when he woke up, considering he still looked a tad tired. "Is everything okay, Xandy?" The feeling got much worse after hearing him call me this. I didn't deserve this loving nickname, not from someone I hurt so much. My voice broke a bit when I tried to reply that everything was alright, which immediately blew my cover. Fuck... "Don't try to lie and say that everything is okay, hunny. Especially not with that look in your eyes. I know that look, it's only there if something really bothers you.", he whispered softly, reaching up and caressing my cheek. I subconsciously leaned my head onto his warm palm, sighing quietly. I could feel the scars on his fingers since he wasn't wearing his gloves, really smooth and somewhat relaxing, if you ignore the transition from scar to normal skin, which felt a tad rough. I didn't know what the story behind this was. Nor did I honestly dare asking, considering that he always hid them under his gloves. There was also a really nasty scar along his left hip, going all the way to his belly button as if he was sliced in half, since the scar continues on the back. He was really pain sensitive there, and I kind of knew that Nightmare had caused that scar, but how is a mystery to me. I somehow doubted he'd tell me either. Jub gently rested his hand on my cheek and let out a small breath. "It's because of what you did, isn't it?", he established calmly. I glanced at him before averting my eyes shamefully, silently answering his question. He softly sighed and sat up a bit, leaning his head against my chest. "I'll admit, what you have done is in no way forgivable. Sure, you were possessed, but it was still fucked up and I might be hesitant to let my guard down around you for a while. But you shouldn't blame yourself entirely, or even feel like you only deserve hell. If I was in your situation, I probably would've done the same, if not worse considering my abilities. It might be unforgivable, but you at least tried to fight it, and you're not fully at fault for this. It's okay, don't blame yourself and take your time to see that what has been done is irreversible, but I'm not angry at you and want to keep you by my side. Despite what has happened. I do have plans for a family after all, and I still want to fulfill that dream with you by my side.", he explained. His tone was... Soft. Gentle. It lacked anger and hate, and was filled to the brim with understanding and the intention to help me cope with this. It sent a shiver down my spine. I never expected that someone like him could be so understanding towards me... I sniffed softly, a few tears running down my cheeks and dripping onto the hoodie Jub stole from me a while back. He didn't pay mind to that at all, getting onto my lap and hugging me tightly. I buried my face in the crook of his neck and let out a shaky breath. My head stayed on his shoulder for a while since Jub ran his fingers through my hair. "Why do you still trust me?...", I whispered at some point. Jub's hand stopped and he took a small breath. "Someone used to tell me that people deserve more chances, no matter what. As long as they want to be better and regret their action that is.", he mumbled. "Who said that...?" "Nighty, back when we were a thing before my downfall happened." Almost beggingly I looked at him, silently asking for the full story. He hesitated for a while before softly shaking his head. "It's not the time, Xandy." I nodded slowly and put my head back onto his shoulder. Maybe one day we'll find out about the stories of Jub and Jay. Maybe even Jura. What interests me most tho is Red. Things have changed, so did people. Maybe it really does require a few chances sometimes to achieve a happy ending. And I'm glad Jub is willing to give me those chances. The crown was lying on the ground, glistening in the fading sunlight. There was no more use in wearing it. I might be a king, but that crown is connected to so many bad memories. Jub knew and smoothly got rid of it with a tap of his tail, letting it disappear into nothingness. Sometimes a little help is exactly what's needed to fade out dark memories and open up a new path.
