After a series of unfortunate events took place in the family's life, one person has been ripped away from them. Now it is Jay's mission to find his husband whom he hurt so much.
Will he manage to find Notch again? Or is he forever lost to the unfo...
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We were at home, so I took the opportunity to take a very, very thorough bath. I settled down into the hot water and relaxed, tiredly sighing. My bones and muscles ached like crazy, pretty sure that it was the same for the others. I hadn't seen Xander and Jub a lot, despite them currently living with us, so I assumed that they were either busy banging or just overall busy. Not that I mind, I enjoyed my peace and quiet. More or less subconsciously I reached for my jeans and pulled out my knife from the sheath attached to my belt, twirling it between my fingers. The blade was still sharp enough to cut flesh like it was butter. Which was soon enough proven by a few blood drops falling into the water, mixing in with long, smooth streaks and curls. I watched it curiously, the movement of the water due to my breath allowed the blood to disappear from my sight again. Eyeing the cut in my fingertip, I smiled. Yip, this blade was sharp. Softly giggling I ran the tip down my chest. It created a fine, but deep cut in my skin, slowly dripping blood into the water. I kept watching before jumping a bit when the door unlocked and Red came in, smiling. "Thought I'd join you.", he whispered and closed the door behind himself. I tilted my head, but said nothing and leaned back. He took that as an invitation and got undressed. He threw his clothes over the edge of the sink, walking over to me. Slipping first one foot into the water and then the other, he sunk into the bathtub, spotting the knife and the cut. Instead of panicking however he gently took the knife and put it out of my reach before gently kissing the wound. I watched, honestly confused, but didn't ask. Reddie eventually turned his back towards me and leaned against my shoulder, humming. "You're not pissed?", I asked. He looked at me surprised before shaking his head. "No, I'm not. Because I thought of a way to help you.", Reddie softly replied, pressing a soft kiss on my cheek. "How so?" "I want you to be better. Less... Insane. It was my fault that you are the way you are, mentally unwell and prone to violence, so I want to help you return to a more... Alright state." "I feel good tho!", I protested. Reddie raised an eyebrow before sighing. "You don't. You are worried of what Lea will say. Which is why you dodged her, right?" Per usual he took the hammer and hit the nail on the head. I fell silent before turning my head away, not wanting him to look into my eyes. He knew why, so he turned my head back to him by putting his hand under my chin. "They're grey, Hero.", he remarked. "I know." "They used to be white." "No, they used to be cyan." He hummed softly. "Well, now your eyes are grey from the stress and the pain. And teary. Tired. You need a lot of time to rest." "Sleep won't fix this.", I grumbled. "Otherwise it would've already." "I wasn't talking about sleep. We need to get you some proper help from a psychiatrist. Possibly even a military or prison psychiatrist." "For criminally insane? No thank you.", I growled. Red sighed. "Hero, you took out our organs and stitched our corpses up as dolls. You snap every time we get into a fight with someone else, take risks like it's a safe gamble, and even harm yourself. This isn't fine, you are criminally insane Hero. You eat human meat for goodness sake!" I fell quiet and stared at the water. This was the very last thing I ever expected to hear from him. Over the years I got slurs thrown at me by all kinds of people, but this is actively, the worst thing that has happened. Red sighed weakly and made me look at him. "Promise me that, when I get someone that can help you, that you'll actually take said help and try to get better? I'm worried about you, Hero. I don't want to loose you to some stupid mistake in one of your moments of insanity. Plus it's not good for our children.", he begged me, his voice desperate. I eyed him a bit, tho eventually silently nodded. He smiled and kissed my cheek. "Thank you, Hero.", he whispered. I didn't answer at all, still staring at the ground. Reddie knew I wasn't fine at all with this, but I was aware how serious he was about this. He never comes into the bathtub, a place where we relax, and talks about anything serious. Usually we somehow start banging in here. "Are you bothered by the fact I'm not mentally stable?", I asked after a while. Reddie tilted his head, surprised. "That's not what I'm saying. I just want you to be okay, that's all.", he softly replied. "I see." "You think I'm just doing that because I'm thinking about myself, right?", he asked. I didn't actively say yes, just mumbled "that's what it feels like". He sighed weakly. "Think what you please, however don't twist the words in my mouth. I'm thinking about us both. Lea as well, our child. She's not that old, how do you think she'll react when she starts to finally und-" "She already does understand, Red! She does! She's not a dumb toddler, like she should be! Jerry and Shadow brought up the kids significantly more than expected, so they do understand what is going on! That Notch committed suicide, that Henory is harming himself most likely, that I'm insane! They do know!", I finally snapped. Red didn't flinch back. He only looked me in the eyes, waiting for something. I got confused before sinking into the water. "It happened again, right?", I mumbled. "I snapped again." "You did, Hero. See what I mean?" I weakly nodded and he softly caressed my cheek. "We'll get help for you. Don't worry about it.", he whispered. I only helplessly nodded, staring at the water. He was right. He was so damn right.
