Don't Leave Me (Behind) || [BokuAka] || ✔️

5

Akaashi. It was Akaashi. His previously short cropped hair was slightly grown out, and glasses now donned his face, the sunrays blinking off them. They suited him. The sun was shining down on him, illuminating his skin and bringing life into his blue-green eyes. 

God, he was still so beautiful. And, for a split second, Bokuto thought this was his life. He wished it was his life. 

But, alas. It wasn't. 

Akaashi was chasing the young girl, smiling so wide as the girl squealed, continuing to run from his outstretched arms. And Bokuto watched the entire exchange, a small smile on his face even though his heart ached. And then it all stopped. The squealing, the running, the giggles. It all stopped. 

Because he and Akaashi had made eye contact. Gold and blue. And Bokuto felt his heart stop. Time seemed to stop, and time rushed by, but remained still at the same time. 

He wasn't over Akaashi. He never once thought he was. But this moment, the suspension in time, the look of sorrow behind the green eyes of the ravenette, all his feelings came rushing back. It hit him like a truck.

He couldn't do this. 

He stood up, grabbing the phone he had placed on the bench beside him, and he made a move to leave. He didn't want to. He wanted to stay, and run up to Akaashi, and tell him how much he loved him, missed him, and kiss him, swear to never let him go, but for once his body was doing what he asked it to. He was leaving. 

But he could hear footsteps behind him, and someone running after him, calling his name. And as much as he wanted to turn and meet that person halfway, his heart couldn't take it. He can't be offered that life again, only for it to be ripped out from under him once more. He doesn't know how much more heartache he could take before it was too much. 

And then a hand gripped onto his wrist. And Bokuto felt his heart leap into his throat. 

“Bokuto-san, please stop.”

It stung that Akaashi didn't use his given name, but Akaashi was calling him. And his heart couldn't help but flutter at his voice. 

So he stopped. 

He stopped, the warmth of Akaashi’s hand on his wrist sent shivers up his arm, and his chest hurt at the feeling. Akaashi was here.

Bokuto still didn't turn to look at his past lover though, that is, until he heard Akaashi sigh and felt the warmth of his palm leave Bokuto’s arm. And he felt something inside him crack. He has Akaashi again, and he's just going to let this opportunity pass?

But what if Akaashi hurts him again? Well, that's future him's problem. So, he turns, coming face to face with the boy who hurt him years ago. 

And now that he was able to look at him, not just see him, Bokuto could tell how much the ravenette had grown, something he wouldn't have been able to do if the two had stayed together. His face had thinned out a little, his cheeks less rounded than they had been 3 years ago, and he now had a small speckling of freckles along the tip of his nose. 

His glasses sat against his face, and the thin frames gave him an air of delicacy Bokuto hadn't seen on him those years ago, and even the way he held himself seemed to be more confident. Not suffocatingly so, and he definitely still curved his shoulders inwards in his attempts to make himself seem smaller, but he seemed more self-assured; aware of his strengths. 

Bokuto’s heart sped up as he looked at the younger boy again, and against his best wishes, his feelings came rushing back to him, shoving their way down his throat and suffocating him. He watched as the lashes that frame the blue eyes of his beloved fluttered open and closed, brushing his cheeks lightly. 

“Bokuto-san, what are you doing here?” His deep voice was as calm and smooth as ever, and Bokuto’s chest squeezed at the sound of the deep rumble. 

“I was on my morning walk. What… What about you? I haven't seen you here in years.” He practically whispered the last bit, and Akaashi nodded slightly, the slightest tip of his head. 

“I moved back here earlier this week. My daughter and I just spent the first night in our new house last night, actually.” He said, his blue-green eyes glancing back to the young girl he was playing with earlier, watching as she swung from the monkey bars, climbing around the playjim. 

“Daughter?” He asked, surprised, but he also knew of everyone he knew, Akaashi was the most likely to have gotten his life together after highschool. 

“Yeah, Yukie. My hus- Ex-husband and I adopted her a year ago, when she was 4.” He smiled fondly at the memory, and Bokuto wanted nothing more than to be the cause of that cute smile. 

“Oh, wow. That’s awesome, Akaashi.” He said, genuinely. 

“Yeah, awesome that in the 3 years we’ve been apart I got married and divorced. Really awesome.” He said sarcastically, letting out a small huff for a laugh. Bokuto felt like an asshole. 

“No, no that's not what I meant! I mean-”

“It's fine, Bokuto-san. I know you didn't mean it like that. It’s just…” Akaashi sighed through his nose, his gaze dropping to their feet. “I know how you feel now. I married someone I was so, so in love with, and, as it turns out, he never loved me. Not that I never loved you! I did! Just, being with someone who doesn't love you, no matter for how long, sucks. It sucks.”

“Hey, it's ok. I couldn't, still can't, control how you feel. And neither can you. It's one thing to fall out of love with someone, it's another to lead them on for years, tell them you love them, even though you never did. That's an asshole thing to do.” Bokuto assured, and Akaashi’s shoulders dropped, as if he had been strung up like a wind-up doll. 

“You know, I really am so sorry, Bokuto-san. I felt like the world's biggest asshole. Ever since that day, the only thing I’ve ever regretted is not keeping in touch.” Bokuto nodded his agreement, even though deep down he disagreed. He opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by a high pitched giggle and a little girl running over to them.

“Daddy! When are we going home? I’m Hungry!” She asked, coming up behind Akaashi and wrapping her slim arms around his jean-clad legs. Akaashi smiled, ruffling her hair as she stared up at Bokuto, her big brown eyes staring into his golden ones. “Who are you?” 

“This is one of my… friends? Yeah, one of my friends.” Akaashi answered for him, and Bokuto’s heart stung at the use of the word friend. 

“My name is Bokuto, but you, pretty lady, can call me Bo.” He said, flashing her a million dollar smile, which she giggled at and moved in front of Akaashi, the ravenette picking her up and placing her against his hip. “How old are you?” 

“I'm nearly 5!” She said, holding her hand out and showing Bokuto all 5 of her fingers. He smiled at the young girl, before turning back to the blue-eyed boy he was previously talking to. 

“Well, Bokuto-san, I need to get miss 'pretty lady’ home. It was nice meeting you again.” He said, the edges of his lips lifting slightly in a smile. Bokuto returned the small smile, though he held an undertone of sadness in it. 

“Likewise, ‘Kaashi.” There was a small silence, but he eventually broke it. “I need to head off to work, or else I'm going to be insanely late to work, again, and my boss will kill me. I hope to see you around?” He phrased it more like a question, and Akaashi nodded. 

“Yukie and I are going to start coming to the park more often. If you’re lucky, you’ll see us around here.” His voice was soft, and something about it sounded like a certainty, which made Bokuto’s insides warm up. Akaashi wanted to see him again. 

And if he left the park with a little more pep in his step, a goofy smile painted on his face and his heart fluttering, he said nothing. And as he walked home, showered, ate, got ready for work and showed up a little over an hour late, his life sparkled a little more. 

God, he was in for a rollercoaster.

*****

Ok, so, I have a vague idea of where this story is going, but it's not concrete. I might change it up a bit, but I have a little bit of an idea of some chapters and major plot points, but if it feels all over the place, that's why haha