Don't Leave Me (Behind) || [BokuAka] || ✔️

32

“Hey, Keiji, do you have some spare clothes?” Bokuto asked, his head peeking out the ensuite door, water dripping down his face and hair plastered to his forehead in his post-shower state. Keiji felt his eyes trailing along one water drop that ran down his face, its trail starting from the corner of his eyebrow and running down his temple, along his cheek bone and down his jaw.

“U-uh, yeah, I’ll go check the storage. There might be something left of yours.” he muttered, turning his head to the side quickly as he attempted to avoid letting the older see the blush reddening his cheeks. He rushed down the hall, the wooden floor cool against his feet as he rushed to the spare room where the boxes of keepsakes were kept.

After Koutarou had moved out, the ravenette couldn't cope with the sheer amount of clutter that reminded him of the older boy. He was driving himself crazy with the memories, the feelings that each little keepsake gave him, and one day he snapped. He had boxed everything up. Every little thing that the two boys had shared…

But he kept the boxes. Something had prevented him from throwing away or donating it, some small little voice that reasoned with him. He was grateful for that voice now.

The two young girls had gone to bed earlier after eating takeout for dinner, both of them yawning through the dinner and Yukie looking as if she was going to fall asleep right into her dinner. Her eyes were drooping aggressively by the time she finished eating, and even Kaori’s freckled face looked more sunken in as the time progressed.

The two adults had put them to bed, letting Kaori sleep on the spare futon on the floor of Yukie’s room as they kissed their foreheads, wishing them sweet dreams and promising breakfast the next morning.

It left the two adults alone in the living room, a silence settled over them, thick and tense. There was so much to say, but neither wanted to start. So the older had excused himself, asked to have a shower in the ensuite, and honestly, Keiji was grateful for the mental preparation time. 

“I’ll leave the clothes on the bed. I’ll be in the living room when you’re finished.” He said through the door, earning a hum in response before he left. The ravenette power walked to the kitchen, grabbing out a couple of glasses and his favourite wine, before placing them on the coffee table and sitting down on the couch.

He focused on his breathing, trying to keep himself from hyperventilating as he tucked into himself. He brought his feet up onto the cushions, flush against his thighs as he focused on the feeling of the material beneath him, the warmth of the air around him and the smell of dinner that remained in the air.

Anything to keep his mind from wandering to the oncoming conversation.

It could go one of two ways; he admits his feelings and gets shut down, left to live the remainder of his life lonely… Or Koutarou admits he shares the feelings.

He didn’t want to hope. He didn’t want to imagine a life with Koutarou in it again… Because once he starts imagining, he’ll want it.

The slim boy sat on the lounge, wringing his hands through each other as he tried to calm himself. He tried to focus on the warmth of his palms against each other, the sound of his skin sliding against skin, but he was interrupted by heavy footsteps walking down the hall.

He glanced up to see Bokuto walking towards him, hair still wet and dripping down his neck, though now he was fully dressed, to Keiji’s relief... Or dismay. He hadn’t decided yet.

“Oh, Koutarou. I grabbed some wine.” He smiled up at the older, hoping the slight tremble in his voice and the tightness of anxiety in his face went overlooked. Bokuto smiled at him, his golden eyes flashing and the light freckles on his face pulled up with his lips.

“Keiji, should I be concerned about the amount you drink? I’m pretty sure you went through a whole bottle last time.” He snickered as he made his way towards the ravenette, gently sitting down on the couch cushion beside Akaashi. Keiji hummed, and started pouring the both of them a glass of wine each.

“Ha, no, I’m just a single parent. My alcohol tolerance doubled.” he said with a smile, and Koutarou laughed, taking the glass he was handed once the younger finished pouring out the red liquid.

“Makes sense, I suppose.” Neither said anything for a few seconds. “So… Osamu seemed nice. I didn’t really pick him as the type to prioritise other things over his family. Especially with the way he acted around Yukie. He seemed to really love her.” He wanted to fill the silence, to prevent the thoughts and insecurities  from filling his mind. Keiji huffed a laugh.

“Yeah, if you consider other priorities to be his childhood best friend. You saw the way he looked at Suna-san, right? The way he would hold his hand when they thought no one was looking, or how close they sat together by choice. He was never like that with me.” His voice was quiet, sharp, and if he had been anyone else, Bokuto would’ve mistaken the emotion behind it as anger. But the sad smile on the ravenette’s face, the droop in his eyes gave away how upset the younger really was about it.

“He… Cheated on you..?” His voice was soft, trying to prod answers out of the younger without opening a wound that was still too fresh. Keiji sighed.

“I never caught him. I honestly don’t know if he did. I have my suspicions, since his days at work started to become longer, and he pretty much stopped touching me entirely. But…” A soft sigh left his lips, and Bokuto reached out towards the younger, intertwining their fingers. “I also know he is a good man. He wouldn’t purposefully rip apart his family if he didn’t need to. I genuinely think, when he first started dating me, that he genuinely thought he liked me. But by the time he realised he didn’t, we were far too deep for him to just back away.”