One Second (6/11/22)

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You texted me,
threw me off

Right when I think I'll never speak to you again,
there you go making an appearance in my life

I miss your existence I do,
but once you leave then what's left?

I can't move on,
why you may ask?

There's still a version of me who misses you,
in that dark place you brought light

When I'm stuck in a tornado of my own mess,
I look to my right and there you are

I hate defending you,
but I always do even if I think I'm not I do

People call them my excuses,
I call them my reasons

You were there for me when no one else was,
that counts for something in my book.

I hate myself for risking us,
I hate you for risking us

We both have so much regret,
because we both jet
when we needed each other the most

Now here we are making our futures,
just without each other

"Where are you going to college",
you really haven't acknowledged?

My existence doesn't mean much to you,
that makes two

Maybe one day we'll bump into each other on campus,
reminisce about our old moments

Laughter shared at the park in our blankets,
making stupid commitments

I wish we could go back to how it was,
but it can't cause

Cause we're us,
one second we're good the next we're not

Who knew how fast our lives can change,
one second feels like forever ago

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