Never Safe

Chapter Forty-Five

It was late Monday evening when you and your dad arrived at his little apartment. It was just how you remembered it from all those years ago. You smiled at the familiarity.

Your dad grinned at you and guided you to your room. The paint was peeling, the furniture was dusty, and there were a few boxes that weren't there before.

"I'm sorry it looks like crap. How about you and I redecorate? It'll be fun."

"I'd love to, dad."

"Good" he smiled at you. Then looked past you and frowned at the room. "Oh, you can't stay in here. Go get in my bed, I'll sleep on the couch."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course, monkey. Go on, off to bed."

"Okay. Night dad." You kissed him on the cheek.

"Night hun. Sleep well."

***

The next morning, you woke up to a lovely smell filling the air. Pancakes.

You jumped out of bed and skipped out the room to find your dad. He was in the kitchen, serving the food onto plates.

"Hey my angel, I was going to bring you breakfast in bed."

"That's okay. We'll eat here" you said as you sat down at the small kitchen table. Y/f/n slid a plate in front of you then sat down too.

"So sweetheart..." he paused to bite the food of his fork. "What shall we do today?"

"I don't mind."

"Do you wanna go shopping? We could get some supplies so we can make a start in your room?"

"Oh not today. I wanna stay at home."

"Okay, we'll stay at home."

You ate a little more. Then your dad realised something. "Are you supposed to be at school?"

"Uh... well... yeah, technically... but I've kinda been taking a break... since... shit started happening."

"That makes sense. I'm not going to make you go back until you want to... do you have spring break coming up?"

"Yeah, it's supposed to start next week."

"Do you wanna try to go back when it's over? There's a local high school I can try and get you into?"

"I don't know. It depends how I feel, dad."

"It's completely fine honey. I don't want to pressure you... I'll call the school but I'll tell them you may not start back straight away."

"Okay" you smiled. "Thanks dad."

"No problem sweetie."

***

Late Friday afternoon, you fell asleep on the couch in front of the TV. When you woke up, it was switched off and you had a blanket over you. It was dark outside.

And there was a noise coming from the other side of the door.

"Dad" you called out to the apartment. There was no response.

There was another small banging sound from outside. A man groaned. There was a light pounding: knocking on the door.

You gulped nervously as you got up and headed towards the door. You slowly pulled it open.

"Sweetheart!" he drunkenly cried.

Fuck.

"Dad..." you said, your voice quiet, timid.

He had been smiling, but a look of regret crossed his face. "Oh sweetheart" he moaned. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, this was stupid. I shouldn't have- I'm sorry."

He tried to stand up on his own, but he had to hold onto you for balance. You held your breath for a moment.

"I'm so sorry" he rested his forehead on your shoulder. "God, I'm so stupid."

You didn't know what to do. You couldn't risk doing the wrong thing...

"Sweetie? Could you help me to bed? I'm so sorry I did this..."

He kept apologising. This was an accident. He really didn't mean to. He was fine. Everything was fine.

"Oh... okay... dad, I'll- um- I'll get you to bed."

You put your arm around him and started helping him to his room.

"Oh, angel, you're so amazing. I love you so much. I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..."

"It's okay, dad. It's okay, I'm not mad."

You got to his room and sat him down on his bed.

"You're not? Oh, this is why you're amazing sweetheart."

You managed a small smile. "Goodnight dad."

"I love you monkey."

"I love you too."

***

You were sat at the table eating a bowl of cereal when your dad walked in. He looked like crap. You smiled sweetly at him. "Hi dad."

"Oh my god" he lowered himself into the chair beside you and picked up both your hands. "Sweetheart..."

"Dad it's okay."

"No, it's not. It's not okay. I should never have put you in that position. I should never have gone out drinking. I shouldn't have gone out at all. I am so so sorry."

"Really, dad, it's fine."

"I'm sorry, I just... I go out every Friday night with the guys and I thought it would be okay because you'd already fallen asleep. I didn't think about what happened when I got home. I'm sorry. I won't do it again."

"No, I don't want you to stop going out because of me. But if you could tell me..."

"Of course... of course honey. I promise."

You smiled gratefully at him and returned to eating your breakfast.

"I love you monkey" he smiled as he stood up. He walked over to the counter to start making coffee. "So what do you wanna do today?"

Your mouth was full, but you spoke anyway. "I don't know." Your dad laughed at you. You swallowed your cereal. "I don't mind if you wanna rest this morning and get rid of the hangover."

"Oh don't worry about me, I'm fine. Let's do something fun. Wanna bake cookies?"

"Yeah okay!"

***

"Hey monkey..."

"Yeah?" you spun around to face him, then instantly squealed as he blew flour in your face. "Dad!"

He laughed as you tried to wipe it out your eyes. You squinted as you walked across the room to find a tissue, bumping into the table on your way. You couldn't help laughing too, though.

A moment later, there was a knock at the door. Y/f/n frowned at his cookie-dough covered hands. He faced you with a smile. "Can you get that, monkey?"

"Sure." You walked to the door, still brushing flour off your face. You got there and opened it.

You paused. The smile faded from your face.

"Hi."