Never Safe

Chapter Fifty-Three

Bucky went to wait outside at around 9:45 the next morning. The car pulled up shortly after ten.

May stepped out, smiling at Bucky the moment she made eye contact with him. She approached him and he hugged her tightly.

"Thank you so much for doing this. I owe you."

"Nonsense. You don't owe me anything" May returned.

Bucky saw Peter over her shoulder. He moved to stand closer to them and Bucky gave him half a hug too.

"Hey Pete."

"Hi Bucky."

"I've talked to Tony. He knows you're both here, and he's made up some rooms for you to stay in."

Bucky offered to help them with their bags. May insisted she was fine but Bucky took them anyway, carrying them into the compound. He showed them their rooms: May's first, then Peter's.

"Can we see y/n now?" Peter requested once he'd thrown his bag down on his bed.

Bucky nodded. "You can see her, but I'm not sure if she's gonna be up for talking. She hasn't really said a word since we got home. She's barely moved and she hasn't eaten anything... and I stayed up all night last night because she did. She didn't sleep."

Bucky guided them to your room. He knocked and waited a moment, even though he knew you wouldn't say anything. He entered anyway.

"Y/n" Bucky spoke. "I've got May and Peter here with me. They've come to see you."

"Hi y/n" May said.

"Hey y/n/n" Peter smiled slightly. Your back was facing them. "It's so good to see you. I missed you so much... How are you feeling?"

Bucky pitifully watched Peter try to talk to you. He grew even more worried about you as you ignored your best friend. May noticed the concern on his face. Before she could say anything, Bucky turned to her.

"Could I talk to you outside for a minute?"

"Yeah, of course" she whispered.

"We'll be back in a minute, Pete" Bucky said as he walked out, closing the door behind him.

"Y/n" Peter persisted. "Are you okay? ... we're all really worried about you... I really missed you... I know it was only a couple weeks but I did... I do..."

Peter sighed when he got nothing. Not even a slight turn of the head to look at him, or acknowledge him. He wandered what they were talking about outside. He had his spider senses; he could listen.

Bucky was confiding in May. He was explaining to her everything that you had said. About not wanting to do it anymore. About wanting it to stop. Peter couldn't see Bucky, but he sounded upset. He sounded as if he was on the verge of tears.

Bucky told May what he feared was going to happen.

Peter stiffened.

"I'm going to lose her" Peter heard him say. He zoned out, ignoring May telling Bucky that everything would be fine. You'd be okay again.

They came in a couple minutes later. Peter jerked his head towards the door.

"Please tell me that's not true."

Bucky paused with his hand on the handle, suddenly realising that leaving the room was pointless. Peter could hear it all anyway.

"You're not... we're not gonna lose her. Right? She's gonna be okay? She- she didn't really say that, did she? She's not giving up..."

Neither May nor Bucky knew what to say. How do you tell someone that they could be losing their best friend?

"Y/n?" Peter called to you. "Y/n/n, please say something. Please tell me that's not true."

You heard him. You heard the hurt in his voice. But you were too numb to feel guilt. You were too numb to feel anything. Nothing mattered. Nothing was worth it because you always ended up in the same place. You always ended up getting hurt and you couldn't do it anymore. Let someone else get hurt for a change. They'd get over it in a few weeks anyway.

Peter took a step towards the bed. Bucky copied his motion, and placed his hand on Peter's shoulder. He didn't want to see Peter feel worse when you pushed him away as you did to Bucky.

"Peter" Bucky said. He paused until Peter turned to face him. "She's gonna be okay" he told him in a hushed tone. "We're gonna work things out and things will get better. You don't have to worry, Pete."

"How can you be so sure?"

"... I'm not... but..."

"But it will be okay" May finished his sentence. "It's going to be okay." She put her arms around both Bucky and Peter, pulling them into a hug. She looked past them at you in the bed.

"Alright..." She let go of them both. "You boys, out."

"Hm?" Bucky frowned confusedly.

"Give us girls a minute."

"I don't think-" Bucky started.

"I know. Just... go."

Bucky nodded and went to the door. He held it open for Peter. May waited for the door to shut.

"Okay, honey..." she sighed. She knew you weren't listening, but she continued anyway as she walked around the room. She started by opening your curtains. "You need to let a little light in here... natural light that is." She switched off the light switch. She moved to your hanging chair and picked up the blanket and cushions that had fallen off of it. "I hope you know..." She leaned over the bed towards you. "We are all here for you sweetheart..." She grabbed the duvet and spread it out, covering you up to your shoulders. "We're going to do anything you need..." She pulled the hair out of your face and tucked it behind your ear. "To help you feel better..." You smacked her hand away. "Uh-" May lightly smacked the back of your head. "No, you can be sad, not rude." You curled up into an even smaller ball under the covers. May stood up straight and looked around the room. She spotted something on the bedside table: she picked up the teddy bear and handed it to you. "Here, take this." She held it in front of your face. You hesitated for a moment, but took it. You cuddled it tightly.

May finally took a seat next to you.

"I mean it, y/n. All of us are here for you. I'm here for you. You know I think of you as my own little girl sometimes. I love you a lot. And there are two guys on the other side of that door who love you even more. They'd be so lost without you sweetheart. We all need you to be okay."

She leaned over and kissed your forehead.

"Now go sleep... I'll come back later."