Never Safe

Chapter Forty-One

It took half an hour of Steve and Nat having a conversation with you for them to realise that Bucky wasn't talking, nor looking at you.

"Baby, are you okay?" Natasha whispered, while Steve entertained you with the topic of travelling.

"Hm? Fine" he mumbled, and went straight back to staring into his lap.

Natasha frowned slightly, contemplating what to do. She turned to you. "Hey y/n."

"Yeah?" you faced her with a small smile.

"Would you like a minute alone with Bucky, so you two can talk?"

Your gaze met his, but he quickly looked away. You cleared your throat and looked back towards Natasha.

"No. That's okay. You can stay."

"You- you haven't really spoken to each other yet."

What were you supposed to say? Could you tell them you didn't want to speak to him? They'd only argue with you. You took a deep breath and addressed your brother.

"Do you have my phone?"

Bucky faced you when you spoke to him, then nodded and handed you your phone without a word.

You muttered "thanks".

"That's not really what I meant" Nat sighed.

"Bucky?" Steve spoke, hinting at him to try.

"I don't know what you want me to say. I've said sorry. She doesn't want to talk to me, and I completely understand. It's my fault and she's realised that."

"Baby, this wasn't your fault-"

"Yes it was" you said.

Bucky embarrassedly looked away again.

"Y/n-" Nat started.

"No. No, it was his fault. He's the reason I'm here."

"Y/n/n, that's not very fair-" Steve argued.

"No, Steve. You know what's not fair? This. All of this" you looked around the hospital room. "It's not fair that I'm here. It's not fair that I got kidnapped last week. It's not fucking fair that I'm involved with any of this." Tears came to your eyes. "I don't want to be here! All I want is to go to school, hang out with my friends, and be a normal fucking teenager! But I can't do any of that! I can't! Because he's the fucking Winter Soldier! Tell me, Steve... tell me how any of that is fair!"

"But-"

"Steve, don't" Bucky interrupted. "She's right. She doesn't deserve any of this."

Steve was about to argue back, but Bucky cut him off before he could get one word out. "You guys should probably get going. Visiting hours are over soon."

Steve and Natasha glanced at each other but said nothing. Steve silently placed his hand on your cheek and brushed over your skin, wet from tears. He bent over and kissed your forehead before brushing your hair back behind your ears. "I'm sorry, honey. We'll come back tomorrow, okay?"

You didn't say anything. You felt that if you did, you'd cry again, or say something you probably shouldn't.

Meanwhile, Nat said goodbye to Bucky. "You sure you don't want us to stay?"

"I'm sure. Thanks, though, doll. I love you."

"I love you too" she smiled and gave him a kiss. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow" he managed a smile. He said goodbye to Steve, and the pair of them left. You and Bucky both watched them walk away through the window. Even once they'd gone, your eyes focused on outside, ignoring Bucky as he looked at you. You sat like that for a couple minutes. Then you couldn't help it anymore.