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janet jackson - fit ⤴
I was waiting for Toni to get back from the bathroom. I noticed that she didn't have to go until after her phone started to ring... Automatically my brain started to go to a bunch of places but I tried to tell myself that wasn't the case. And it very well could've been a coincidence.
She was gone for a while and when she came back she just started to speed past me. I didn't even realize it was her at first until I recognized her voice cussin' underneath her breath. I called out her name a few times but she still didn't say anything.
I sort of felt awkward calling out her name so I just tried to catch up to her. Running was embarrassing but I still did it, I didn't want her to leave me. When she went out into the parking lot my heart started beating a little too fast. I thought she was going to leave me here at the mall. I'm glad I wore jeans today, I rarely do.
I watched her get into the car and start the engine just before I made it. I was trying to hold back my tears. I got there and the car was locked. I wiped my face and knocked on the window. Toni didn't even look up from her phone, just clicked the button.
I sniffled and opened it then climbed in. She still didn't look at me, just turn her radio down and then pull out her phone.
"I-I was c-calling your name, what's wrong?" I asked. I wasn't crying anymore really, just hiccupping. I shouldn't even be crying right now, she could've just not heard me. Toni didn't even respond to me, just kept doing what ever it was she was doing on her phone.
"W-where are we goin'?" I should just shut up because it's clear she doesn't wanna talk to me. I'm just embarrassing myself. Maybe it was this morning, with the whole girlfriend thing. I wasn't even being completely serious. I mean sure, I want to be her girlfriend but we still had that agreement. It was just a joke.
After some more silence she finally talked to me. "Home," she muttered.
"O-ok." I said quietly. I started to count my fingers quietly to keep from crying or talking anymore because the atmosphere was really hostile and I didn't want to bother her any more than I was already.
Toni must've really been mad because she was speeding. Once we got to the house, she just jumped out the car, left the keys inside and slammed the door behind her. The noise scared me and I started crying again. This was not happening right now. We were just perfectly fine and now—she's acting like I did something wrong.
But—but maybe it wasn't me. Maybe she just got her period—or, the phone call she got ruined her mood. I don't know.. I got myself together before going into the house and tried to stay as positive as possible. I tried to go into Toni's room to ask what was wrong but she'd locked her door. I think that hurt me the most honestly.
After that I just went into the kitchen, got something to drink and offered Shay and Jas the rest of the pizza I didn't want. They noticed my mood and asked what was wrong. I ended up crying again but I told them what happened. Shay said I should just give her some space because she used to come home and do that all the time. But Jas said I should go in there and punch the shit out of her because I wasn't one of her friends.
So now I really didn't know what to do. Eventually Toni did come out of her room and into the kitchen. We locked eyes and she just looked away from me. I knew she could tell I'd been crying because I hadn't even tried to wipe my eyes while I was talking to Shay and Jasmine.
She made her some tea and before she left she looked at me. I didn't even look away because I was trying not to be some big cry baby about everything. Even if I did just cry for like an hour with the girls.
"Come into my room so we can talk please." She sighed before walking away. Shay looked at me and shook her head while Jas just rolled her eyes. I was still going to get up though. I went into Toni's room and she was packing a bag. What? Once she realized I'd came in she sat down.
"C'mere." She told me. I slowly went to sit beside her but she pulled me into her lap.
"Y-yes?" I asked, I was trying so bad to have an attitude but I couldn't because I was sort of just happy for her to be talking to me again—well kind of talking.
"I'm sorry," She huffed before talking my hand and kissing the back out of. I wiped my eyes and nodded my head.
"I-It's fine."
"No it wasn't. I was bein' an asshole again about something that wasn't your fault. And I shouldn't have left you in the mall." Toni began.
"I got a call from my mom and it just triggered me but that didn't give me a right to do what I did. I planned on us coming home anyway because I know you told me you didn't wanna go out." She said.
"I know I hurt your feelings a lot just now but I really didn't mean it. It was just a defense mechanism. I can't promise it won't happen again but I'll promise to work on it. You don't deserve that mess." She concluded. I was sort of just staring at her while she talked. Her eyes were getting kind of red like she was about to cry and I got worried, I never seen her act like this.
Emotional I mean,
"I understand. Just next time tell me that because I nearly had a panic attack when you left me. I know I'm sensitive but that really did hurt my feelings." I expressed. Toni nodded her head and kissed me softly.
"Do you forgive me?"
"Of course I do." I smiled. Toni rolled her eyes before kissing me again. I turned my body to straddle her and deepen the kiss but she pulled away before I could.
"There's something else I have to tell you..." She trailed off. Now that made my heart pound.
"W-What?" I asked.
"It's nothing bad, I just have to go back to Maryland for a few weeks." She explained. I frowned my eyebrows and took her other hand.
"Is everything alright?"
"Yeah, one of my other aunts is real sick and I'm her proxy so I have to go," I gasped and wiped the tears that were building in her eyes.
"Awe, I'm so sorry, Toni. Now I really forgive you for earlier." I said while kissing her again and then holding her tighter.
"Do you want me to come with you?" I asked, still hugging her. She'd put her head into my chest and I was holding her head. This sort of felt like a break-though for us.
"No, you have school. And I don't wanna make you uncomfortable with Cee and all that." She said.
I shook my head at that because I wasn't worried about any of it. "I don't care about any of that. Plus we're on break so I'll be fine. I wanna be there for you."
"Thank you.." Her voice cracked.
"You're welcome baby.." I comforted. After that I kind of just held her until she stopped crying. It took a while but eventually we did. I could tell Toni didn't wanna talk about it anymore so for the rest of the day we just cuddled and slept. Kind what I wanted to do anyway.
