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janet jackson - ⤴
My hand caressed her face. She wasn't awake but I knew she could feel my touch. I just knew she could, even in her unconsciousness.
The swelling in her brain had become so bad that Toni was in a self-induced coma. I thought it was medically induced, like they'd be able to wake her up whenever, but the doctor said her body shut down all on its own.
So the only thing we could do was play the waiting game. I wiped one of my tears that fell onto her check and sighed. I was supposed to leave for school in the next five days.
Even though I was praying that Toni would get better, the doctors just kept reminding that these can last up to a month.
"Please wake up, T." I plead, laying my head against her chest. I looked at the clock and it was almost three in the afternoon. I needed a nap, crying is more draining than you would think.
I could have only been sleep for a few minutes before I heard someone knocking at the door. I lifted my head and looked through the thin glass to see Toni's mom standing there.
Her eyes were super red and she looked really tired. I guess I was staring too long because she starting banging on the door really hard. It startled me and I jumped up onto my feet.
I wasn't supposed to let her in but my hand hand had opened the door before I could remember that.
Mrs. B pushed me aside and ran to the edge of Toni's bed. She grabbed onto her arm and fell to her knees sobbing. I didn't really know what to do—I was a little lost.
"Toni, please! Please wake up baby, I can't lose you too!" Evelyn cried. I walked closer to the bed and contemplated on if I should comfort her or not.
"W—what do you mean her too?" I ask, putting my hand on her shoulder and squeezing comfortingly. Her other hand lifted from Toni's bed to grab hold of mine. I guess I made the right choice.
"He's gone, my husband is gone—I can't lose my baby too. Toni please, please wake up!" She screamed, her whole body was shaking. I wasn't too skilled in the comforting zone so I just continued what I was doing.
"I'm sorry for your loss, Mrs. E. I—I don't know what to say." I stutter. She sniffles and shakes her head.
"No, you don't have to pretend to care. He wasn't good to you—or Toni.." She was right, so I shut up.
Mrs. E kept crying for awhile until she had to leave. She'd gotten a call from another one of her sisters and had to go. I took the opportunity to get back in bed with Toni. I was telling her about my sessions with my therapist, she always asked anyway.
I was playing with her fingers and just rambling for a little when I felt her squeeze my hand. My heart dropped and I sat up a little.
"Do it again.." I forced out, trying not to scream. I waited in anticipation, and after a couple seconds she squeezed again. I squealed and started pressing her help button while telling her to keep squeezing my hand. Her doctors rushed into the room in a panic.
"She's waking up!!" I yelled at them, climbing out of her bed the doctors could help. They smiled along with me and went to check her.
— time ⛥ jump —
I smiled at Toni. She was passing all of her brain test with flying colors. In fact, she was doing so well that the doctors were starting to think the injury made her smarter. I wouldn't be surprised if it had.
"Janet, stop smiling at me like a creep and come kiss me." Toni teases, throwing one of the puzzle pieces at me. I blush and stand, going over to the bed and kissing her lips a bunch of times. Nobody will ever understand how happy I am that she's okay.
"Thank you," I whisper, kissing her afterwards. She hums into my kiss and lowers her brows.
"For what?"
"Surviving." I say, simply. She laughs at me and wraps her arms around me. It feels so good to have her do that again.
"Always, you're my only reason." Toni squeezes me tighter and her hand falls down to my butt. I squeal and jump up. For the next hour, we just laugh and joke while she does more brain test. She made the doctors bring in another set so I could challenge her.
It was a good distraction from what I have to tell her about her dad. I'm not sure what she'll say or how she'll react. I asked her doctors about it and they said I should wait. It might set her off or something. I don't want to wait too long because then her family will do it. And they won't be as caring as I know I can be.
Toni really doesn't need another set back, but there's nothing I can do about life and it's plot twist. All I can do is hold her through the process of them. Maybe I'll do it when she gets released.
