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toni braxton — out the hospital. ⤴
I was wearing a dress. For the first time in years I think. Janet was bringing a few more bags to the car and I was just staring at myself in the mirror. The coma made me feel weird afterwards. The doctors did say I'd see some changes in my emotions at first but this is shocking.
I had this peak of anger where I almost threw away all my clothes because they reminded me of my aunties. I didn't understand it because I usually wore them to feel closer to them.
I got sort of lost in my thoughts and jumped when I felt Janet wrap her arm around my waist. She looked at me through the mirror and smiled questioningly.
"Yeah, im good." I say, before she could even ask me. She's been really worried about me. So I have to get her back to school. I'm glad I was only in the hospital for a few days because if not Janet wouldn't have gone back.
My mom wanted me to come by the house before we left so that's where we were supposed to be going.
"Okay, just checking. We should get going."
"Sure." We take each other's hand and walk out the hotel and into the new rental truck. I had to pay for the other one to be deep cleaned but I wasn't really stressing it.
I decided to go get something to eat before the long conversation with my parents and I could feel the stress radiating off of Janet. I kept glancing at her scratch the side of her face with her nails, gently. And her eyes couldn't be still.
I took one of my hands off the steering wheel and rubbed her thigh to get her attention.
"Baby, whatever is on your mind, you can tell me. I'm getting better, stop holding stuff in." I heard her release a really deep breath before nodding her head.
"Oh—I'm fine Toni, no worries." I gave her a quick glance and she knew that I knew that she was lying.
"Okay, fine. I do have a question." She says as we pull into waffle house.
"Shoot."
While I'm parking Janet still struggles to actually say what she wants to but I give her the time and space to say it. By the time I'm parked, getting out the car, and helping her do the same she finally says it.
"If something really drastic happened in your life, whether you think it'd affect you or not, who'd you want to tell you?" Asks Janet, we're waiting in line to be seated.
I take a moment to really think about what she's saying before I respond.
