If Only

Chapter 25

I am ashamed to admit that tears were shed for an ass of a man but doesn't that happen to us all. We get close, sometimes too close and then we receive a kick to our gut. Well I should have seen this coming. Everything was turning up Sia and my mama always said that if one day you spent laughing the next you'd end up crying. Well I spent a lot of time happy so I guess this bad period was going to stay a while.

I missed a day of human interaction because I was holed up in my room. Hannah bought me ice cream and some action movies but couldn't stay. It was date night for Hannah and her. Ugh! I needed to punch something or someone. Was I going to stay in here anymore sulking and crying? Um, maybe. Maybe I'd stay here forever. Skye had tried to call me that's why my phone was off. So even if Kai called I'd never know.

I was alone at home that night so I ventured out of my room for the first time since the fight. Why did I not want to interact with Hannah? My best friend and roommate? Oh well because I'd see the pity she would most definitely be showering me with. I didn't deserve it. I made my bed and now I have to lay in it.

I was watching 'Iron man 3' for the fifth time as I contemplated why we never invested in some animal-love and bought a cat when the door-bell rang. I wasn't going to answer it when I heard a shuffling noise. Strange noises normally scare the shit out of me but I had all the lights on so I was somewhat calmer than I would've been. I walked through the door to see a paper being stuffed under it. I looked through the peep-hole to see who the perpetrator of the crime was and I was disappointed it was Enzo.

Even being mad at Skye, I still wished he would move mountains to beg for my forgiveness. "I know you are in there. I can hear the tele.", Enzo said looking back at me through the peep-hole. Granted he wouldn't be able to see me or anything but it still made me gasp and bang my head on the door to confirm his accusation. Take it that I would be the only one to be clumsy to bang my head on something when moving away from it.

"Read the note. I spoke to Hannah when I came by earlier...",Enzo said and all I could think of when I bent down to pick up the note was that he was here earlier. Why hadn't Hannah said anything? "...and she said you were dealing with a loss and if I had the decency I wouldn't come back here. Guess you told her about my creepiness huh? She wasn't polite with her words." That's why she had told me. She still didn't like Enzo.

"Anyway if at all you um...well Si just read the note.", he said. I still didn't respond as I opened up the neatly folded piece of paper I had in my hand. His writing was beautiful was my only thought as I glanced over all the words. Nothing registered at first but as I reread it I saw it was another poem.

Beauty was hurt, pain in its emotional form,

Attacked her and stayed, its residence not the norm,

I wished not the beauty's pain prolong,

Hence the presence of me and this lowly song.

 

I know my words can't easy the pain,

But a companion's outlook may not be in vain,

Me here is just a thought to be of help and a friend,

Maybe I can be of service and this pain, I can end.

There was a small note at the bottom of the page- P.s. I don't think I can actually end your pain in a night like some superhuman but I needed the poem to rhyme. I smiled at that. The note continued- Not that I can't help with the pain, maybe tackling the source would be difficult....and now I'm rambling in the note. Ah hell. Please let me help.

I let out a small laugh.  The boy tried...hard, I'd give him that. So I opened the door. He gave me a small smile. "I made a fool of myself with that didn't I?", he said scratching the back of his head.

"A little bit yeah.", I said with a small laugh. I think I didn't sound too happy because Enzo frowned. "Can I come in?", he said. I opened the door a little bit more, so he could invite himself in and walked into the kitchen to make some coffee. I had a feeling it would be a long night. When I came out Enzo still hadn't come into the room. I walked back to the half closed door to open it to a smiling Enzo. I frowned. And people wonder why I called him a creep.

"Umm Enzo? Why the hell didn't you come in?", I asked holding the door open completely and facing him with my hand on my hip. He continued smiling as he opened his mouth to say, "You didn't invite me in. I can't enter unless you invite me in....get it?" I stared at him blankly for a second before I burst out into a loud laugh. He just kept smiling never moving forward to enter my apartment. I calmed down enough to answer him back, "Well now since you mentioned it, how do I know you won't come in and suck me dry of my blood?", I wagged my finger in his face before pulling him into the house with a tug of his sleeve.

"Boi, don't you think you are a little too old to be watching 'The vampire diaries'?", I asked him as I pulled him to the sofa and sat down next to him. I was still giggling. This was crazy. He was crazy. "My ego can take a hit as long as it ends with you smiling.", he said smiling at me causing me to blush.

"What is with the poems dude?", I asked him. That had been on my mind since he first wrote one. He looked down at his hands and then picked up a mug I brought for him. "It was always easier to write my feelings then say it. So I started making them a little more dramatic and nothing screams dramatic more than a poem.", he said with a small smile.

"Have you always been so reserved?", I asked as I folded my legs under me and faced him on the couch. I felt much better than I felt all day. So I guess all I needed was a little human contact. From the opposite sex. Damn mind and her pervertness. He didn't say anything for a long time. "As long as I can remember.", he sighed before continuing, 'I don't know what my damn problem is. It like a gamble everyday. One day I'm confident as fvck and the next day I may be running scared or hiding behind a damn garbage can. But with the people I am really closed to, this doesn't happen. I guess it anxiety or some shit like that." I laughed and he smiled. "Some shit like that..."

He smiled again, "Yeah shit like that. I like your smile Sia. It brightens up the whole room." I couldn't help but blush. Someone turned his damn sweet-talk ability on. And you falling for it girl. I mentally shushed my crazy conscience as I looked at Enzo. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe he wasn't such a bad guy as I deemed him to be.

In the span of two nights he had drastically changed his impression of himself in front of me. His voice dragged me out of my musings, "Will Hannah be back soon?

I laughed, "Scared are we now?"

He laughed back, "Phsst....um...yeah."

That just made me laugh harder, "Don't worry about being murdered tonight. She is staying at Sam's."

"In that case...", he said, "I got some movies in my car and some microwave popcorn I bought. Movie night?", he asked hesitantly.

I just smiled. I needed this. So I just went along with it. Whatever the night bought my way later id deal with it. So for now I just smiled at him while saying. "Sure. Why not? Movie-night!"