If Only

Chapter 28

I sat there icing my poor face while Hannah paced up and down the living room fuming. She was so mad at Kai and Skye and she still thought Enzo was a creep. Not that that was her fault. That was totally mine. When we got back home Hannah put out a 'boy-ban' for the apartment. I heard 'boy band' and thought she was taking me for a concert. That little joke/slip-up made her even madder.

We were on the verge of a huge fight, I could feel it but I couldn't fight with the last person I had who I relied on at the moment with fierce intensity. "Hannah sit down.", I said as I began to move but I instantly applied a little too much pressure on my face and bit back a shout. Hannah turned to look at me and she calmed down a bit. "I'm just worried about you." She moved to sit next to me.

"I know.", I said looking at my lap.

"All men are asses.", she looked at the ice in my hand and moved to take it from me to change the ice in it.

"I know.", I said still looking at my lap as Hannah got up and moved to the kitchen.

"I can't always protect you, can I?", she called out from behind the counter.

"No, I'm afraid not.", my voice was low when I answered her but I'm sure she heard.

There was a whole minute of silence as Hannah changed the ice and moved back to sit next to me. "My life is a mess.", I said taking the ice pack from her.

"No sweetie. It's just complicated at the moment.", she said as she placed her hand over mine.

"How can you say that so calmly? I feel like a bomb exploded and I have to clean up the wreckage." I said looking at her now.

"Honey Kenneth was just... what can I say? A distraction maybe? You didn't know what to do with Enzo's affection for you and your attraction to Skye.", she paused and let that sink in.

"No but Han...", I continued instead of her, "...that's the thing. I knew I didn't actually want Kai. It's just that, that whole thing was so embarrassing... the yelling, the slapping, the accusing...Ugh!", I threw my hands up in the air. I wanted to throw something at the television. I was so frustrated. I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Si babe...", she sighed. "Sia, after all this do you want any of them in your life? I mean was any of them worth all of the tears and anger and emotions? I'm not asking in a romantic sense, but even as a friend. Lorenzo? Skye? Heck, even Kai?"

I thought about this for a moment. Gawd knows I didn't give two fvcks about Kai, but what about Enzo and Skye? Enzo was so damn sweet to me and we hung out a lot in the past week after Skye's departure. He turned out to be such a good friend. I had completely misjudged him. Well I learnt that lesson. "Kai...I don't give a sh!t about. But I wouldn't mind Enzo as a friend Hannah. He has been really helpful this past week.", She gave me a knowing look. I smiled.

"Fine. What about Skye?", she asked.

I looked back at my fingers in my lap. I was so not ready to admit the turmoil in my head about him. Damn ego and estrogen. "What about him?", I asked softly. Hannah sighed again and got up. "Coffee or hot chocolate?"

I looked back at her and smiled. That chick just got me. "Hot chocolate please."

"Coming right up.", she called back from the kitchen.

I switched on the tele when Han's phone rang. I switched it to mute as I moved to search for it. "Just take that for me please.", Hannah called out.

"Kay. But I can't find it. Where..?", I yelled back but she cut ,me off. "My bag.", she said and I immediately moved to it.

It was Sam. So I addressed her when I answered it, "Yeah Sam. Si here."

"Is Hannah with you?", she asked. She sounded out of breath.