Choices | calum hood & luke hemmings ✔️

six

This is basically Calum writing letters to Alexandra <3 the letter will be in italics
-song attached is Never Be Alone by Shawn Mendes :)
xx

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calum

day 19

I don't think I can do this anymore. Just sitting there hoping to see you awake. Day after day I wait. Sometimes I even hold your hand and think you'll respond by holding mine. Your hands are cold but it feels comforting.

The doctor said you're healing. Slowly though. Your back and leg is healing pretty well. I'm glad to hear that at least.

It's just Madi and I here in your room. The others would switch at times. Of course, Madi and I would visit Luke but usually 2-3 days a week. Well you know, since everyone is in Luke's room.

There's more space in Luke's room because you have a lot of machines you're.. Hooked up to. The machines kinda take a lot of space.

Alex. No, let me call you by your actual name because it's so much better to say it. By saying your full name, it guards all the memories we have together. Yeah I wanna remember those memories.. Just not right now. Because when I remember the memories I have a hard time to not hold you in my arms. I wish I could but I don't want to hurt you.

Alexandra.

I hope you know that we're still not taking this well. Almost 20 days and we still don't know what to do except to wait next to you.

Everyone's a mess. I'm a mess especially. I miss you plenty. Maybe more than I should. I talk to you everyday. Talking to you without any response doesn't help much at all though.

I want to see those beautiful brown eyes that sparkle in the sunlight. I want to see that shade of pink in your cheeks when someone compliments you. I want to see your goofy smile.

The nurses try to make conversations with me and um it's not that interesting. But I did hear this one nurse talking to you. It was quite sweet.

In the morning, precisely 5:30 am on a Wednesday, a nurse came in to do the daily stuff. She usually comes in at this time everyday. These nurses come in and out all day and all night.

This young nurse, a woman, was checking your average heart rates and hooked you up to a new ivy. I was sitting several feet away from the spot next to you. Instead, I sat on the seat by the window close to Madi's seat.

"You poor sweetheart," She first said and I thought she was just pitying you. But then she says, "Whether you choose to live or die, its up to you. I hope you can make the right choice."

The nurse whispered into your ear but loud enough for us to hear. She smiled slightly at you and patted your hand softly.

Before walking out, the nurse turned to us and said, "You know, she might be able to hear you. Maybe something you say could help her wake up."

I stared at her speechless and Madi just nodded at her. She walked out of the room after giving us a smile. I'd love to have her as my nurse. She's very nice. You're lucky to have her.

It's been about 3 weeks since we've heard about your coma.

I was about to write more when the pen runs out of ink. Dammit. Probably Madi used this pen to doodle on her notebook. I guess I'll have to find another one, or I could go to the store downstairs and buy a new pack.

I lean back in my chair and focus on the noises that filled the room. The first noise I recognize was some loud ruckus outside. I think it's cars and maybe even fans. The news did spread fast that our bus crashed and we're in the hospital.

Due to Alex and Luke, we had to cancel and postpone most of the shows of the tour. Again. I know some fans are upset, but they have to understand that this year has been rough for us during the tour. I hope that they do even though they have no clue to what is going on inside the hospital itself.

The second noise I hear was the ticking of the clock. The clock was blue and had bold numbers along the edges like your typical analog. I was quite fond of that clock. Sometimes it got annoying but it was really interesting if you think deeper into it. Geez, what is happening to me. All I do now is analyze things.

The final noise was the beeping of Alex's machines. I don't know how it doesn't overwhelm her because it overwhelms me. It probably does to her, but you can't notice it.

I take a deep breath while closing my eyes and taking a whiff of the hospital air. Mostly hand sanitizer surrounds patients and their visitors, and the funds are so strong that it's almost difficult to breathe.

I reopen my eyes and took a look at Alex. I grabbed her hand carefully and wrapped both of mine around hers. I lean my head down on the bed that Alex was currently resting on. I close my eyes once again and concentrated on her breathing. I focused on how it and how it was so evenly paced.

I began humming one of Alex's favourite songs, Never Be Alone by Shawn Mendes. It was a really good song. When she first played it, the song was like magic to my ears. It then became one of my favourites as well. I heard Madi playing the song on her phone once as well.

I was about to hum the chorus when Madi walks quietly out of the restroom with a towel draped around her shoulders and her wet hair on the towel. She probably just finished showering, I assumed. Madi was in an oversized shirt with grey sweatpants. It was probably one of Hunter's shirts because it went all the way down to her mid thigh.

It was currently 8:56 pm and we had just come up from dinner with the others about a half an hour of so. I was still in my jeans and T-shirt so I should get out of these clothes and get comfortable for the long night ahead of us.

"Go shower," Madi reads my mind whilst partly drying her hair with her towel. "I can watch her." She says walking to her luggage that was by the sink in the room. We were able to recover our belongings from the bus before it either gets let go or fixed. Luckily none of our instruments or clothing got ruined and I think to myself how at least one good news has been delivered.

I nod in response to her and get up from the chair. I pick some sweats and a jumper so I could sleep in. Grabbing my towel and essentials to shower, I make my way to the restroom, ready for every chasing thought of mine that runs after the girl who currently lays in a hospital bed.

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Was this chapter short? I'm not sure. But yeah, the last two paragraphs were crap.

Anyways, let me know whatcha think in the comments! I'd love to read them.

I know it's a little sad for the beginning of the story, sorry, but hang with me for a couple more then it'll possibly get happy. Can't make any promises ;) (cough cough maybe next chapter cough)

So it's currently.. 1:32 AM while I'm writing this little note and I was in the mood to update so :))) Oh! And I saw that Calum followed Shawn Mendes on Twitter and I kinda freaked out not gonna lie XP

-H <3

*Edited 6/7/18 ily y'all so much, I wanted to to know. Thanks for sticking with me :)*