Tokyo's Deity (Mikey Sano x Reader

Chapter XXXV

December 4th, 2020

Two weeks after the big Toman meeting

The feeling of being heartbroken is a very painful experience, especially when you've felt it before. The feeling of your heart cracking and breaking inside of you as it tears you apart is never a fun feeling, especially when you feel like you're dying again on the inside. Once your heart breaks, a dark hole consumes that space, leaving you completely numb. All the emotions you once had and felt disappear and something else takes place. No one knows the exact word for that thing, but we have all been there. This is how Y/n feels.

Ever since the meeting, Y/n felt that her whole world fell apart again. It seemed that her happiness was zapped out of her, and all she could see was darkness. There was no warm fuzzy feeling inside her that she once felt, just a dark, empty coldness. Seeing her past being rubbed in her face was enough for her to want to scream and cry right there and then, but being a symbol for a gang meant that she needed to keep her emotions in check. Thankfully, she had a safe place to let it all out.

After she came home and felt the love and protection from her father and cousin, Y/n decided to take a break from Toman for a while, especially from Mikey. To her, if he wasn't going to take her feelings and opinions into consideration when it comes to deciding on a gang that not only he but she created as well, a break from him and Toman will probably do her some good. Will it be tough? Yes, very much so, but in the end, it will do her some good.

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Y/n POV:

It has been two weeks since I decided to avoid everyone. The feeling of guilt was building up inside me, causing restless sleep and horrible mood swings. Every phone call, text, and visit, I would ignore or have my family say I'm not home. It got to the point that Wakasa would bring me with him to either his place of work or to hang out with his friends. At one point, I got to see Inui and Koko. Hearing about the whole situation that is going on with Toman, they were more than supportive of my decision and feelings on the matter, especially Koko.

Every time the three of us hung out, Koko stayed by my side, spoiling me with food and gifts. Of course, I would deny the gifts but food. There was no way I would deny that. I mean, come on, it's free food. As for Inui, he would give me emotional support. Always lending me an ear and shoulder to cry on. Having them in my life  makes life easier.

As for the others, it was hard to push them out, especially Mikey, Takemichi, and Mitsuya. Plus,  it doesn't help that I see Mitsuya vice captain's sister, and Mikey's brother when Waka brings me to one of their meetings. When I asked Wakasa why he keeps bringing me, he would just say,  "To keep an eye on you." And in response, I would just nod my head while cursing him in my head. To make matters worse, both Shini and Yuzuha Shiba will come up to me and ask how I'm doing and I always respond with the same answer, "I'm fine," while deep down we all know that I'm not.

And no,  being in the present while feeling trapped in these four walls, surrounded by open sketchbooks and old photos, my soul longs to be free. Relocating my eyes toward my window, I watched as the world continued without me. With a wondering thought, my mind goes toward Takemichi. I wonder what he's up to, I thought. Shaking my head, I stood up and stretched my aching body. Deciding that I should get some exercise and fresh air, I walked toward my closet and grabbed the fluffiest sweater I could find. Today would be a good day to visit mother. And with that decision branded in my brain, I proceeded toward the front door. Since no one was going to be home till late, I locked up behind me and made my way to the nearest drug store.

After picking up a bouquet of my mother's favorite flowers and snacks, I made my way to her grave. It's been a while since I visited. Feeling shameful, I quicken my pace,  hoping to make it there in less time. Usually,  it took me twenty minutes on my bike to get there, but since I'm walking, it will take me a good half-a-hour an hour.

With the brisk wind swirling around me, I could feel my eyes start to water and my skin turn cold. Yet I continue, ignoring the shivers going down my spine and the the ice-coldd wind nipping at my exposed skin. Staring up at the bleak grey sky, something told me that winter would be coming sooner than we expected. The thought of snow falling onto the world, creating some sort of winter wonderland, made me want to puke. Oh,  how much I hated the cold and the thought of Christmas. Nothing about the holiday was cheerful, and yet I thought this year was going to be different. Boy,  was I wrong.

Half a hour later,   finally made it to the cemetery, only to stop when I noticed a familiar set of blonde hair, moving in the wind. Frozen to the spot, I watched as the figure bent down to brush something off my mother's grave. As if they knew I was there, they stood up and turned with a sad smiles on their face. Speechless, I continued to stand there until something came over me. With oxygen in my lungs and feeling liberated, I finally breathed out.  "Mikey."

As if he heard me speak his name, Mikey sent me one of his famous smiles that was only reserved for me and made his way over to me.

Deep down, I knew I should be angry with him and feeling betrayed,  and yet at the moment, I felt relieved, happy, and yet sad all at the same time. Nevertheless, I stayed put, shielding myself for the pain that was yet to come. I know what I have to d,  and yet my heart was telling me not to do it. With the battle continuing inside my head, causing a major headache, I watched as Mikey came closer and closer to me.

"Please, stop. Don't come any closer," I whispered as I begged him to stay. And yet my plea fell on deaf ears as he continued to advance. I could feel my eyes overflowing with tears and my lips trembling as my heart began to break, once again. The feeling of his betrayal flowed through me as I watched him. The thought of me running away crossed my mind, but by the time my body responded, it was too late. There he stood, the invincible Mikey with his hand stretched out in front of him, begging me to take it. Crushed and wavering in thought, I moved my hand into his warm one as he guided us toward my mother's grave.

As we stood there in complete silence, giving our respects, we both couldn't shake off the inevitable feeling that was poisoning us. Neither one of us wanted this relationship to end, but something was telling us it was for the best.

With heavy hearts, we both turned toward each other with despairing smiles as tears poured down our frozen faces. Not one of us said a word as we both knew that this was the end for now. Wiping my tears away, I leaned in and kissed my beloved Mikey on the lips. I could taste the lingering tears on our lips as we kissed the cold away. Just as we came together, we pulled apart.

As I slowly backed away from the love of my life, I said one final thing before departing. "I love you,  Mikey, only you, nobody else. Remember that." And with that, I left, leaving the broken boy alone next to my mother's grave, hoping and praying that we will be together again. Until then, we both need the time to heal and find ourselves.

With that in mind, I pulled my phone out. Having that one person in mind, I dialed their number. With each ring, I cried my heart out, waiting to hear their voice over the other line.

"Hello?"

With a broken voice, my voice finally came out. "Mitsuya, I need you."