Remington
Here I was again knocking on her door again. And here I was, being let in by someone that wasn't her, because she wasn't here. But, since the universe and I were best friends (note the sarcasm) Carmen was there to let me in.
"Remington! Hey," She smiled, "how are you doing?"
She twisted a finger around one of her fresh curls. Her lip had slipped under her teeth in an attempt to be seductive.
"Good," I said plainly, "I can just come back."
"Oh nonsense. She'll probably be back soon," Carmen took ahold of my hand and tugged me through the door with a slight roll of her eyes, "come on, you can talk to me."
I had a bad feeling about this, but she wasn't exactly giving me an option. She lead me to the couch, and all but threw me down next to her. My eyes widened and I focused on the carpeting below us. Carmen must've sensed my nerves because she chuckled.
"I don't bite," She mumbled, "well, unless you want me to."
"No, I don't." I brought a chuckle up, but it was stifled, and one of discomfort.
"Seriously are we really just gonna sit here and talk?"
"What else is there to do?"
*TW: Sexual Coercion (just a kiss but I wanted anyone that's uncomfortable to be able to skip forward), Panic Attack*
If I could've taken it back I would, but I didn't have time to take it back. I didn't even have time to push her away, before she forced her lips into mine, and climbed on top of me.
"Wait," I breathed out, "Carmen, stop."
"It's fine, nobody's here."
Had anyone ever told her no? Did she not understand what it meant? Or, did she just not care?
"Um," Carmen's head snapped towards the door, and mine followed it, "hi guys."
I was so relieved to see Austyn's face, but I was also praying she heard the whole conversation, and not just what Carmen said.
"Oh Austyn-" Carmen spewed the beginning of an excuse as she climbed off of me, but Austyn cut her off.
"I don't care. I'll be in my room." Austyn spoke calmly, and quietly, and she started towards her room.
"Wait! Austyn- wa- please."
I couldn't finish my statement, and even though I tried to go after her, I had to sit back down when I felt my chest tightening. I knew that it was a panic attack almost immediately, due to the amounts I had had before. When we were getting started, the band would take any opportunity to play any show we could. That being said, not everyone was exactly a fan of the way we sounded, or the way we looked. People went as far as throwing bottles, or other trash. Eventually, it started to take a toll on me, and I started having a panic attack before almost every show. After awhile, I had to find a way to get through them, and things started getting better so they got less frequent. This was the first one I had experienced, in probably months.
"What's wrong with him?" I could hear Carmen ask.
"Carmen," Austyn hissed, "back the fuck up! Give him room. The last thing he needs is you in his face."
I could feel her crouch next to me, completely disregarding the orders she just spewed, "Hey, Rem, you're gonna be ok. Try to focus on five things you can see. Can you do that for me?"
I nodded, not even truly seeing her due to my vision blurring. I felt like I could pass out. I could hear her voice. That was all I needed.
Five things I could see. The dark brown curls of hair that flowed just past her shoulder. The scattered, faint, freckling on her face, that I found myself admiring as if it were constellations, more often than I probably should. Her almond shaped eyes. They were such a sweet chocolate shade of brown, and not getting lost in them was already one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Every time I looked in them, I saw a hint of kindness, and a hint of warmth. Her perfectly plucked eyebrows. It was so cute, the way that they scrunched up when she gave me attitude. The way they crinkled when she tried so hard to hold in a laugh. Lastly, her lips. Shaped like the prettiest flower I've ever seen. Plump, and the most beautiful shade of pink. When they curved into a smile, every problem I had seemed to fade away into nothing.
