Remington
"I'm telling you it's not enough."
The voice carried through the lecture hall. I was stood outside the door, waiting for Austyn to be done with her last class so that we could go get lunch. She told me to wait in my car for her but, I saw no harm in walking with her. Of course, I was trying not to interrupt, but hearing the random man's voice, ha me losing faith in that decision.
"What do you mean? First you wanted more color, so I did that, then you told me to add more landscapes, so I did that," I could tell she was stressed by the tone in her voice, and I could almost see her teary eyes through the wall, "what else do you want?"
She must've been talking about the portfolio I had found the other night. I thought it was beautiful. I also thought about throwing the man against the wall so, maybe I should keep my thoughts to myself.
"It's just- boring still," Austyn groaned at his flat words, "I'm sorry. That's just- the only word I can find really. It is great but, if you want to be the one picked in this program, then you have got to step it up. Add more."
"More what?" Her voice was raising, along with my concern.
"There's no people in here," I'm assuming it was her professor that was explaining this to her, "just you and a dog, and some empty rooms. Show me more of you. You have to get more creative with your style choices, and for god sake's incorporate other humans. Tell me your story."
I peaked around the corner in time to see her play with the ends of her braids nervously.
"You don't have to take my advice if you don't want to but, if you want to graduate a semester early, you need the extra credit that comes with being the student picked for this competition. Just add one more element, and then you'll be set ok?"
By the look on her face, she was about to let out a few vulgar words, but when she saw me, her face softened and she sighed, "Yeah. Fine, thanks, I guess."
Without waiting for a response, Austyn slung her bag over her shoulder and made her way up the rows, and to the entrance where I was standing.
"Hey," I smiled but, it faded when all I got in response was a half nod, "are you ok love?"
"'Tell me your story' that is my fucking story," She ranted, "empty rooms, my dog, and I. That's what I have. That's all I've had for like four years. How the fuck am I supposed to tell my story, when my story's not fucking enough? Jesus christ why does no one ever think I'm fucking enough?"
Her breathing quickened, and her voice rose to a yell, pulling glares from several students who were passing us as we walked out of the front doors of the building.
"Hey," I called out when she picked up her pace and I had to grab her hand to pull her back, "Austyn, babe wait a minute."
I hugged her and she sighed into my arms, right in the middle of the walkway, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"It's ok," I cooed before pulling back, and almost melting at the fact that she was trying not to cry, "hey, if it makes you feel better I think you're enough."
I thought she was more than enough. Almost unreal. Her hand fell out of mine, and her shoulders fell, "I'm so sorry but, that it really not fucking helping right now."
"Wow," I said, taken aback and honestly hurt at her outburst, "got it, sorry."
I let go of her hand and began my way back to my car.
"Remington," She called out, "Jesus Christ, I'm sorry that I don't want your pity."
Seriously? Did she really think that's what this was? Is that what I was to her?
"Really," I chuckled dryly, "sorry- I'm just trying to be clear here. Are you fucking kidding me, or no?"
"I can handle myself," She said flatly. The emotion wiping from both her voice, and her face, bringing out a bad feeling in my chest. I felt so far from her, even though we were only a couple of steps apart, "I don't need you to feel bad for me, and to swoop in and save the day all of the damn time."
My jaw fell slack, as I scrambled to find a response. I was shocked, and honestly felt like this was coming out of nowhere. I felt sore at the idea that this all seemed to mean nothing.
"Are you mentally ok," I scoffed, "or are you still trying to be funny? Why the fuck are you talking like this?"
"I'm not talking anyway I've just had enough of you pitying me."
"I'm not pitying you, you're not that special." The words flew out of my mouth, with an immediate regret following them. The feeling only worsened with the painful look that took over her expression for about two seconds, before turning back to one of stone.
"Fuck you," Austyn spat, "fuck you! Just fuck you!"
Now she was yelling, and shoving me backwards with each word.
"Stop it, Austyn! Fucking stop," I grabbed her arms to keep her still, "why the fuck are you screaming at me? Why are you putting this on me? Just because your pictures aren't good enough, doesn't make it my problem."
I'd never seen a glare as ugly as the one she was sending me, and it hurt like hell. Just smile at me so we can laugh about this. Tell me it's a joke. But, of course she wouldn't do that.
"So much for caring right," Her scoff was broken, and I could finally see her fighting tears, "get the fuck away from me. You can come get your shit from my house, but that's it, and if you're not there in two days I'm fucking burning it."
"Really?" I yelled after her.
"Actually," She turned around and walked towards me, before taking my hand and placing her closed fist in it, "this is for you."
She stuck her middle finger up, and I scoffed as I ripped out of her grip and watched her walk away. her box braids were pulled back into one big french braid. I swear she took a piece of my heart with her. I'd let her get so close to me in such a short time, and now she was running me into the ground. I was just too blind to see it. Not that seeing it, would make me stop her. I'd follow her into the ground, and just about anywhere else.
So much for fucking lunch.
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Question: What's your favorite food?
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