Remington
"Oh my god."
TW: mentions of suicide / suicide attempts
All I could hear in my head was a loud ringing, my body instantly heating up at the steam that had filled the room. I ran over to the shower, my heartbreaking at the sight of Austyn unconscious on the tile floor, her curls in a wet mop over her face.
"Austyn," I yelled, tears brimming, "no no no no. Come on baby wake up."
I climbed into the shower, fully clothed. The water had been on so long that it had run cold, causing her to shiver as I pulled her close to me.
"What," She gasped, "oh my god Remington what are you doing?"
My heart dropped at the sound of her voice, relief instantly filling my veins.
"Oh my god," I could've sobbed at the overwhelming feeling. I pulled Austyn close to me, paying no mind to the freezing water, or the fact that it was drenching my clothes, "I thought you were dead!"
"What?" She mumbled, her focus on the wall.
"What is going on with you," I asked shakily, "you could've responded. Austyn I thought you were dead."
It set in for me completely when I repeated the statement. How scared I was to lose her. How much she meant to me. I couldn't tell her the truth. I couldn't lose her.
"I'm sorry," She cuddled into me, "I didn't mean to upset you, I just didn't hear you."
"You just scared the shit out of me," I breathed out, and turned her to face me, "what's wrong my sweetness?"
She smiled weakly, finally looking up into my eyes. I could see the tear stains on her cheek even through the water from the shower head.
"It's three years today." She whispered.
"What?"
"Damien -my brother- died three years ago today." Austyn spoke so calmly, and she cuddled into me, nuzzling her face in my neck.
I let out a light, instantly connecting the dots of her mood for the past few days, "I'm sorry babe. What can I do?"
"I just wanna sit here for a little while." She said softly.
"Look at your hands. They're all shriveled," I kissed her hands, "come on."
I reached up and grabbed her shampoo and conditioner from her shelf, and starting working her shampoo through her scalp.
"Thank you." Austyn whispered.
"For what?" I asked curiously.
"You're taking care of me, and I don't deserve it. Thank you."
I rinsed her hair, and tilted her gaze into mine, "Austyn. Your brother's death was not your fault. You couldn't have possibly known what was gonna happen. Do you understand that?"
She nodded weakly.
"Ok," I sighed, "do you? Because I need to hear you say it."
"I know," She mumbled, "I just think-"
"Nope," I smiled, "you couldn't control his actions. You did nothing wrong."
Her eyes teared up again as I worked some conditioner through the mid shaft and ends of her hair.
"Your hair's so beautiful," I whispered, "you're so beautiful."
I kissed her forehead. I love you. It wasn't the time. That's not what she needed to hear right now. So, I wouldn't say it.
