Hijabi Style: The Surprisingly Average Life Of A Teenage Muslim Girl

The Return of the Mack

Ah, the matters of tension. Awkwardness pops up everywhere, and this time around, it's getting in the way of the relationships between the people closest to me.

If you can imagine, having lunch together with my friends after all that's happened is incredibly strange. But still, we find ourselves at the same table in the cafeteria. Tessa doesn't sit beside Hamzah, like she'd been doing since he got here. Instead, she takes the seat next to Kennedy, her only ally at the moment.

Nonetheless, she glares at me as she realizes that she has caused me to sit next to Hamzah. She leans over to Kennedy and whispers something to him. He gets up and gestures a motion meaning he wants to switch seats with me. I begrudgingly slide into the booth beside Tessa. Clearly, no seating arrangement works well for us, because Tessa tells me to switch with Hamzah. I refuse and stay put.

"Guys, this is stupid." I say, getting their attention.

"Of course you think that." Tessa mutters under her breath.

I glance at Kennedy for any signs of his having my back on this; instead, he looks away without saying a word. "I'm just saying," I continue. "We can't try to have lunch if we don't want to sit together."

"Great," Tessa counters haughtily. "Then we won't have lunch." She gets up and walks away in a huff.

"That's not what I meant," I tell the guys.

Hamzah sighs and looks down at his hands. I notice he is holding his mother's ring. I feel sad watching him hold back his own emotions.

A voice interrupts my thoughts. "You know, maybe I should go, too." Kennedy murmurs as he starts to rise.

To stop him, I blurt, "No, Ken! Please wait." He then turns to look at me and sits back down. Hamzah takes the hint that we want to be alone and walks off into the same direction Tessa did.

"What's the deal?" Kennedy asks.

"I could ask you the same thing. Is something wrong?" I ask, genuinely concerned. "Did I do something?"

"No."

I wait a moment as he stares at me. "Um, are you going to elaborate at all on that?" I ask.

Ken sighs loudly. "God, Yasmeen, I'm fine."

"You're not acting fine. You can tell me the truth."

"You want the truth? Here it is." Ken harshly answers. "You're so concerned with everyone else that you never notice what's right in front of you."

"So, I did do something wrong?"

"Listen to yourself! You're so clueless. What have you been doing this past week?"

"I got, um, closer to Deena."

"Yeah, for Deena's sake. What else?"

"I got engaged to Hamzah. Like you- uh, like you saw."

"Exactly."

"Is that what you're upset about?" I question. "I don't want to marry him. It's caused this whole mess."

"Yaz, my point is that you get stuck in doing all these things for everyone else. When are you going to do something that's good for you?"

"But I do things for me too! I went shopping with Tessa."

"Sure, right before she found out about you and Hamzah, and also before you called me to pick you up from the mall." Kennedy scoffs.

I get too involved with other people? That can't be true, can it? And if it is, is it all that bad? It was a blessing to be selfless, wasn't it?

"What am I missing that is right in front of me?" I ask, remembering what he'd said earlier.

"Me."

I turn towards the deep voice that answered, seeing that is it none other than Major Lucas. "Though, technically, I'm right behind you." he laughs.

"You've got to be kidding me." Ken mutters. I reach out for him, but he leaves anyway.

I turn back towards an expectant Major, surprisingly still standing in front of me. "Is this a joke?" I ask, as I am genuinely confused as to why he's even talking to me.

"No, not at all." he says with a smile.

"I'm sorry, I'm just not understanding. Why are you speaking to me?"

"I thought about all that happened, and I have decided to forgive you."

Forgive me? As if I was the one who'd been rude. He'd been such an asshole! "Is there something actually wrong with you?" I deadpan.

"Clearly, you didn't mean it- that slap. Besides, I've given you enough time away from me."

"Is that what you thought this was?" Here was a gorgeous guy- absolutely gorgeous. Major was a guy I would have done anything to impress. But honestly, looking at him now, I felt sorry. Sorry that I'd wasted so much of my time going after someone who didn't even understand how he'd hurt me. Sorry that I'd sold myself short. Sorry for myself.

"Uh, Yasmeen?" Major calls.

"I don't need your forgiveness, Major." I whisper, lowering my gaze. Looking at him now just made me too sad. "For the record," I continue, "I forgive you."

I walk past him, proud of myself for doing the hardest thing I've had to for in a while- forgiving someone. Alhamdulillah, I'd finally done something good for me.

Kennedy is always so spot on about things like this. I definitely feel much better; I just wish this sort of thing didn't make him so angry. He's always looked out for me, and while I feel it's nice to have that protective part of him, the other part of him is more overwhelming: there has to be more to the anger he feels. From the way Kennedy reacted when he saw Hamzah and I together, it almost seems like... Kennedy is jealous?

Suddenly, everything is so clear. The reason behind Kennedy's behavior is clear, and I know exactly how to use my brilliant realization about Ken to get Hamzah and Tessa back together.

I'm officially 'back up in the game'."