Hijabi Style: The Surprisingly Average Life Of A Teenage Muslim Girl

Boyz II Men

More often than not, the things we find ourselves searching for happen to have been right in front of us the entire time. In searching for love in others, I'd missed the chance to truly connect with Kennedy, who'd been by my side all along.

"I'm never getting married," I moan aloud to Deena as I slump into her mattress.

"Say astaghfirullah!" Deena gasps and hits me with a pillow. "And don't be so dramatic," she continues, rolling her eyes.

"I mean it. Romance is doomed for me. Just look at the guys I've had in my life this school year alone," I say a little bitterly. "Three guys, and I didn't end up with a single one. It's an epidemic!"

"Have you ever considered that fact that you might be ugly?" Deena deadpans and playfully shoves me. "A little humility wouldn't kill you, you know," she chastises.

"Maybe I expect too much," I answer, feeling a little down. Now that I knew I liked Kennedy, I couldn't stop thinking about him.

"No you don't," Deena soothes. "You deserve a really good guy. So what if your soulmate is not Mr. Handsome? There's someone out there for you, Yaz."

I contemplate for a moment about whether I should disclose the information about Ken to my little sister. "Deena," I call, deciding that I did want to tell her about it. "Can I tell you something?"

"Sure, lay it on me," she replies with a smirk.

"Ugh," I groan, referring to her choice of words. "Anyway... I like this boy- well, not a boy- a man."

"Boys to men, huh?" Deena laughs at her own joke. "You've definitely stepped up your game."

"Okay, first of all, it's Boyz II Men," I laugh, putting an emphasis on each word. "And secondly, he most definitely is not a boy. This is a mature, hardworking, and kind man."

"Is it Kennedy?"

"No! Jeez!" I exclaim rather loudly, in hopes of disguising my white lie. I'm actually shocked that she knows exactly who I was talking about. "Besides, all you need to know is that he is a man."

"Sure," Deena sarcastically retorts before I continue speaking.

"But he likes- maybe even loves- someone else."

"Aw, that sucks. Are you going to tell him? You know, that you like him?" she asks sympathetically.

"Are you out of your mind?! The whole point of a crush is to find out if the other person likes you back. I know that he doesn't, so why would I want to make the situation worse?"

"Well, I think you should tell him. I really do."

"But why?"

"Because this man could be the one! Who knows what could happen? Maybe all it takes is him knowing how you feel."

Rather wise words from a girl who eats crumbled Oreos as cereal. "That was actually really helpful, Deena. Thanks." I smile and decide I'll tell Kennedy right away before I chicken out.

"My advice is always helpful, you dingbat!" Deena calls after me as I go downstairs to Ken's room.

It's a little strange seeking Kennedy out. He's always been there for me when I've needed him; I've never had to ask for him. Ken's room is on the first floor of the house behind the kitchen, an area I rarely venture into.

The door is ajar, making it easier to peek into the room. Kennedy is sitting on his prayer mat, his back facing me. He's dressed in a thawb which clings to his back and arms, the taut muscles showing through the thin fabric.

With some extreme willpower, I look away and take a few calming breaths. I knock the door, my heart racing. Kennedy turns around, and is clearly surprised to see me. Is it me or did his face fall just now?

"Yasmeen," Ken says, quickly rising. "Come in." He motions me to take a seat on his bed. "I feel like I haven't seen you in forever, and we live in the same house," Kennedy jokes, his dimples showing.

On the inside, I swoon. On the outside, however, I keep my cool. "Kennedy, I'm sorry about that whole thing with Tessa and Hamzah, and the thing with Major, and-"

"No, I get it," Ken interrupts. "I was wrong about you, Yaz."

"What do you mean?" I ask, worried that his opinion of me has depreciated.

"I mean that I was wrong to be angry at you. You care about your family because you love them. I know how it feels to not have a family to care for and support you. I guess I was a little jealous that you weren't caring for me as much as everyone else."

"You were?"

"Yeah," Ken rubs his neck nervously as I hide a smile. "In the midst of all this, I forgot that I'm supposed to protect you, not attack you."

I feel myself falling for him, which is completely destructive in retrospect; I just can't help it! "You've always protected me, Ken."

He nods. "I'm thinking of changing my name, you know."

"Huh? Why?"

"Oh, I don't know. So that I show the girl with the most beautiful blue eyes ever how far I would go to be with her. So that I can continue to protect her, just like she's protected me."

I look deeply into his eyes, fiercely hoping that he is talking about me. Part of me is still doubtful, and I don't want to jump to conclusions. "Who's this special girl?"

"Well, actually, she's more of a woman," Kennedy says in a raspy voice, making my insides melt into mush. "She feels with her entire heart, and lives for those who love her. She loves strongly, and forgives deeply. She's been through a lot, but still sees the light in things. She has her mother's grace and her father's stubbornness. She's you, Yasmeen."

Me?! This is completely cliche, but at this point, I don't care. Kennedy wants to be with me! I'm the girl that Ken was talking to Abba about! This is such a blessing, masha Allah! My heart beats quickly with excitement and I can't stop myself from grinning.

"You know what would be the perfect name for you, should you decide to change it? Habeeb," I say to him, still grinning.

"What does it mean?"

"It means, 'he who is loved'." I answer, nudging him.

Ken hesitates for a second and then looks right at me. "You love me?" he asks, his eyes pleading for the truth.

I ponder for a second about whether or not that is true. I've been reluctant to use 'the L bomb' since Major, but the truth is that I do love Kennedy. I love how brave and passionate he is, and how intuitive and safe he is. I nod at him, smiling. "I do love you," I murmur.

"Yasmeen?" Kennedy calls, looking down at his hands.

"Yes?"

Before his next words, he locks gazes with mine. I can't pull away from his bright green eyes, the same ones that used to haunt me so. "I have your Abba's full support to do this," he says, kneeling before me. "I want you to marry me the halal way, Yasmeen," Kennedy says firmly. "Will you?"

"Yes!" I exclaim immediately, tears I didn't know were there rolling down my cheeks. We embrace for the first time ever, his arms making me feel loved and safe and protected.

"I love you, Yasmeen," the man of my dreams says to me. I found my soulmate, through Allah's grace as well as His miracles.

"Alhamdullilah," I answer.