There's a saying about how life is a roller coaster. If that isn't true, I don't know what is. It so perfectly describes my life at the moment. There's another saying about how all the fun of a trip is in the journey. I strongly disagree with that one. In just a matter of a few weeks, my quasi-normal life was becoming more and more filled with drama. So NOT fun.
After a wonderful Jum'ah/Jemima Friday and a laid back Saturday, I begin to think about what Tessa said about dating.
Having turned 16 this past February, I think it may be a good time to at least talk about it with my parents. I mean, how would I eventually get married? Would they arrange it?
Luckily, Deena is out with a friend. This will make it easier to talk to my parents about it. I find my parents in the living room, watching TV.
Abba glances up from the screen. "Hey, habibti, come join us." he says, patting the sofa.
I sit. "Can we talk for a while?"
"Of course," Ummi says, turning off the TV. "Is everything alright?"
"Yeah."
"Good." They both answer, and look at me expectantly.
"Am I going to have an arranged marriage?" I blurt.
"What makes you ask that?" Abba asks.
"I, uh, I was just wondering." I stutter.
"No, habibti. Not all Arabs go through with arranged marriages, you know. Unless... do you want one?"
"No!" I almost scream.
My parents laugh at my reaction before I ask another question. "How'd you end up with Ummi?"
"We dated." Ummi says, simply.
"You WHAT?!" I scream this time, unable to disguise my shock.
"Well, I came to her father and told him of my feelings for her. Then with his permission and a chaperone, we went out to the cinema and to meals, or just stayed in and talked. And then, we got married and had you and Deena."
"No one calls it the cinema, Abba."
"Fine. Movie theater." Abba answers, rolling his eyes.
"So," I say, after thinking a moment. "It was halal dating?"
"Absolutely." Ummi says, holding Abba's hand and smiling up at him.
"But wasn't it hard? With no touching?"
"This is going to sound corny, but it's true. When you have a connection with someone, it's worth it to strengthen it with emotional bonds. That makes the wait for the physical aspect of it that much more special." Abba answers.
Their story is incredibly sweet, and I realize that I am really lucky to have parents that I can really talk to about this kind of stuff. The thought of it really does give me hope. Maybe I can ask them about my possible dating now?
It's now or never. "Am I allowed to date?" I ask.
Abba pauses and looks at me. Ummi looks back and forth from my face to Abba's, her eyes wide.
"The halal way, of course!" I say, hurriedly.
"You... you want to date?" Abba asks quietly.
"Not necessarily now. Just asking if I am allowed to." I say, after taking a deep breath.
"Well... the boy would have to talk to me first. Then I would give him permission if I approved. I want a good Muslim man for you."
"What if he isn't Muslim?" I ask, faintly, eyes downcast.
"Then you are not dating him." Abba says, sternly.
"But why?"
"You are NOT dating anyone that is not a Muslim. Ever! Do not ask me again!" Abba roars.
I hold back tears as I run up the stairs. I shut my bedroom door and hug my pillow. I don't understand why Abba got upset so quickly.
Ummi comes in and sits beside me on my bed. "Ya habibti, you've done it now." she teases, shaking her head.
"Why is he angry?" I resist sobbing as she rubs my back.
"In part, your Abba is realizing you are not his little girl anymore, and that scares him a bit. But in addition, Muslim women shouldn't date or marry non-Muslim men."
"Why not?"
"It makes things easier. If there isn't an intermarriage, there isn't a separation of worship that could influence your future children. There isn't the temptation that may come with the other religion. Your Abba just wants what is best for you, and so do I."
"But Ummi, there is a boy, and he says he loves me..." I trail off.
"And this boy is not Muslim, I assume?"
"No, he isn't." I reply sadly.
"Then habibti, do us all a favor, but most of all, one for yourself."
"What's that?" I ask, warily.
"Forget about him."
YOU ARE READING
Hijabi Style: The Surprisingly Average Life Of A Teenage Muslim Girl
Teen Fiction***This ebook is complete*** A lot of people have a misconception about the nature of Muslims, what with all the bad publicity of "Islamic" terrorists who aren't real Muslims at all. Our character, Yasmeen Abdul, takes us through the ups and downs o...
