Hijabi Style: The Surprisingly Average Life Of A Teenage Muslim Girl

Stupid Epiphany

A person can endure much more than he or she thinks, because with every bad thing comes a good one. While I'd had the fortune of never really suffering in life, my "problems" in life were becoming resolved one at a time. Tessa and Hamzah's relationship was completely restored, my family was closer than ever, and I was focused on school again. The blessings were coming from here and there, alhamdullilah.

On my way to my trigonometry class, to which I actually find myself looking forward, I spot something from the corner of my eye. In one of the dead-end sections of the hallway are Kennedy and Rochelle.

I haven't really seen Rochelle since the whole 'dumping Major onto her' incident. She hasn't changed much; her hair is now cut into a bob, and her clothes, or lack thereof, seem impossibly tighter than I remember.

But now, seeing her with Kennedy makes me remember Ken's talk about having found the one. Is it even possible that Rochelle is the girl Kennedy wants in his life?

Before I jump to conclusions, as I often do, I look again. Kennedy is looking right at her, with this sort of gaze that makes a girl feel like whatever she is telling him truly matters-like he really cares about what she thinks and how she feels.

I've always been able to trust Kennedy; perhaps because when I first met him, he'd shared that same look with me. It hadn't been because of what I'd been through. Instead, it was because he valued me as a person, and someone worthy enough to be called a friend. I really miss that look; it reminds me that the Kennedy I know- lovable, sweet, and funny- is still in there somewhere.

Rochelle kisses him on the cheek and her lips linger. My stomach flip flops as I restrain myself from running over and prying her off of him. Finally, Rochelle's had her fill; she turns around with a smirk, and comes face to face with me.

"Oh, hello," she smiles.

Hello? "Is that all you have to say?" I ask in disbelief.

"Uh, how are you?" Rochelle says, glancing behind herself.

"Why aren't you being bitchy? You're actually asking how I am?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Rochelle huffs, clearly becoming a little agitated.

"So how's Major?" I ask, to push her buttons a little more.

"Oh, I wouldn't know. I would suppose he's fine," she mocks.

"Wait, what do you mean?"

Rochelle quickly looks over her shoulder again at the area Kennedy was standing in just a few seconds ago. After seeing he is gone, she turns to face me again. "I mean that I'm done with Major. You really thought you had me fooled, didn't you?"

I don't answer, and Rochelle takes my silence as a cue to keep talking.

"You don't want Major anymore. I know you dumped him on me. I also know you're after someone else. But I got to him first," she brags smugly.

"Who are you talking abou-" I start, and suddenly, a lightbulb goes off. "You mean Kennedy?" My eyes widen incredulously. "What, is he the reason for your newfound personality?" I ask sarcastically, ignoring the fact that my heat rate has picked up.

Rochelle scoffs as if it had been obvious. "Duh. Anyone with eyes can see you like him. So now I want him."

Apparently, everyone but me seems to think that I like Kennedy. I attempt to bring myself to tell Rochelle that she can have Kennedy. I fail miserably, and I realize I have fallen into a common cliche- one including sudden romance between friends.

Rochelle loses interest as a result of my silence and starts to stomps off. "Wait a minute," I stop her, yanking her arm back. "What's your game here? You're just going to obsess about what I'm doing forever?"

"Oh, please." Rochelle yanks her arm back and shrugs it off. "You give yourself way too much credit."

"Do I? How about you focus on your own life for once? Or is it so empty that you're only worth a damn when you're involved in mine?"

"Shut up!" Rochelle screams, attracting a few stares from other classmates. "Just shut the hell up!"

"She didn't deny it," I hear a boy mutter to his laughing friends. "Maybe she really is just worth a piece of ass."

I feel self-satisfied for a split second before the guilt sets in. I can't beat Rochelle by becoming her. I have to move on already; a few minutes ago, I was on the road to solving all my problems, damn it. It's time to end this one, too.

"Look, Rochelle. I have been angry at you for a long time. And I'm positive you've been angry at me for even longer."

Rochelle doesn't respond, so I continue. "Why are you doing all this anyway? For Tessa? Think about it- really think about it. You guys wouldn't have been friends by now anyway. You're different people."

"Well, so are you. Look at how you're dressed. Tessa doesn't sport such baggy clothing. It's just awful."

"Yeah, but on the other hand, Tessa and I are the kind of people that focus on what's on the inside. To us, that's all that really matters." I put my hand on Rochelle's shoulder as she relaxes. "I didn't take Tessa from you. You helped me find her. So thank you."

Rochelle nods and smiles. I am actually shocked that she's been won over so easily. But that is the way of Allah; things that seem impossible become the opposite. Alhamdullilah, He has helped me resolve things with Rochelle.

Before she leaves, though, she whispers something into my ear for once. "Consider him yours." Her heels click as she walks down the hallway, leaving me alone, and once again late for a class.

"Thank you." I whisper aloud to the empty hallway, wondering if I actually can consider Kennedy mine.

As I'm left to consider my feelings, I think about how much Kennedy has changed since the beginning if the school year. I often find myself comparing the man he is now with the boy he used to be. This was a guy that was passionate; he was willing to leave his parents in exchange for faith. Yet I only focused on his anger. Of course he's angry, I tell myself. Just look at how much he's had to give up.

And then I think about how much I've changed. The past me would have been able to understand Kennedy's feelings. It should not have taken me this long to realize how honorable Kennedy is. It should not have taken me this long to see how much I had changed because of Kennedy.

I am finally realizing my feelings for Kennedy and he's already found the girl of his dreams. I'd missed out on so much- I'd done too little, too late.

Stupid epiphany.