Hijabi Style: The Surprisingly Average Life Of A Teenage Muslim Girl

Head Over Heart

Memories are precious. They show us who we are, what we care about, and what we think. So bearing that in mind, how does one just forget about someone who has remained a part of one's memories for years?

Though I will admit, it really was just an innocent crush until freshman year. I basically just giggled whenever I saw him, nothing heavy. But back in freshman year, I started to fall. It was the little things.

There was the way that he was so naturally polite, and everyone liked him. He was popular without trying, and it didn't seem to matter to him. He said hello to everyone who made eye contact with him, genuine smile and all.

Also, there was his passion for things he believed in. I remember seeing him in the halls, shouting with a group of people, protesting against the principal's decision to cut the baseball team in order to accommodate the football team. This went on for a whole week. They finally stopped the rally when Principal Carter gave in.

Then, finally, there was his intelligence. He was always at the top of the grade list after each marking period. Whenever I went to the library, I'd steal a glance of him with his nose in a book. It was all so adorable.

I hear my parents downstairs, Ummi trying to calm Abba down. If he is this angry about it, maybe it's for my own good. Maybe I shouldn't imagine a future with Major, knowing that it could never happen.

Clearly, just "forgetting" all this isn't going to happen easily. I know my parents are right, but I can't help but feel my feelings for him strengthen. What if they are wrong about Major?

Allah forgive me if this is the wrong way to feel, I think to myself. Why can't he be Muslim? Things would be so much easier if he was!

Why do I feel so strongly for him now? I'd been denying any major- I mean serious- feelings for him for so long that now that I've acknowledged them, it seems like I can't hold back any of my feelings.

I know that I love him. His eyes, his voice, his nature. When I look at him, I know that he means every word that he says to me. And I trust him. And then I think.

What if Major is the one?

My head and my heart are in battle, and ultimately, my head wins. If my parents say I shouldn't, I trust that they're right. My parents have been looking out for me since forever, and Abba has never gotten this upset with me before. It's probably best that I steer clear of Major.

But knowing that doesn't make my heart hurt any less.