Memories We Share

eleven

As soon as Heesoo left my house last night I went back to the present. It was a really close call and I was being reckless. I shouldn't have let her come over. I also did a lot of thinking once I got back so much thinking that I didn't sleep at all. There are so many moving parts in this shit that it's starting to fuck with my head, but my top two priorities right now are to figure out the purpose of me going back and forth and taking care of the Haerin situation.

All I know is that I can time travel. I take over a girl's body who looks almost identical to me and has the same name as me. We aren't the same though. We have a different family, different personalities, different thoughts. I couldn't time travel until I found my mothers diary. Until I held on to that picture of her group of friends. I get up from my bed, opening the top drawer of my dresser and pulling it out. I looked at the group of teenagers looking so happy. I felt a smile creep onto my face as I took the picture over to my desk sitting in the chair as I looked at the moon out the window. I looked at the picture more carefully and could tell everyone was looking directly at the camera except Haerin. She was looking slightly up. What is she looking at?

I turn the photo over and notice writing on the back. How come I've never noticed the writing before? It said: taken by my love x. Huh? Whose love? My moms? It's not Jungwon because he's in the photo. Maybe it's my dad? I grab my phone to look at the time and it's 4am. My dad is probably asleep so I can't ask if it was maybe him that took the photo. Suddenly I heard a knock on my door and then it opened revealing my dad. What is he doing awake?

"Hey honey, why are you awake?" He walked over towards me placing his hand on my shoulder.

"Couldn't sleep." He just hums leaning over looking at the photo in my hand.

"You still have that thing?" I nodded, turning around in my chair so I was facing him.

"What are you doing awake?" The older man just sighs gently taking the photo from my hand looking at it.

"I couldn't sleep well either, honestly. I'm worried about you minji. Ever since your mom passed you've been different. You zone out a lot. You sleep way too much. You've been doing bad in your classes. You've been distant, we used to talk to each other. We used to tell each other everything." I felt myself getting angry at his words because he's a hypocrite. He's the one that shuts down when I want to talk about mom. He's the one that avoids talking about her.

"I want to talk about mom." The older man was clearly caught off guard by the way his eyes widened and he began fidgeting with his hands.

"Minji we can talk about her."

"I want to talk about why she did it. Why she took those pills. Why would she do that to us?" I felt myself get choked up thinking about my mother killing herself...imagining the young girl I know now doing that. My father stood up from my bed handing me back the photo he was holding.

"Minji I don't know why she did it. She was a young girl who was severely hurt and never recovered. That's the best I have for you." I sigh in frustration throwing the picture on the desk.

"She used to be happy. I remember her being happy!" I yelled at him causing him to step back. It's true when I was younger she used to be kind, happy, she used to do things with me. Once I got older she became distant...she still talked to me and cared for me, but it wasn't the same.

"Sweetie, your mom worked hard everyday to show you the best version of herself. She just got tired of pretending to be okay I assume." I looked up at my father and there was pure unadulterated sadness in his eyes. I lost my mom, but he lost his love. His soulmate. I got up and hugged him. I felt his body start to shake and that's when I knew he was crying. This is the first time I've ever seen him cry. All I do is hold him tighter as more tears slip silently down my face.