Memories We Share

two

It's been a couple days since I've opened my mothers diary, but I still have the photo of those five girls and boy on my dresser. It's just so sad. It feels like I know these people, but I don't. I don't know them because they are dead. I don't know them because it would be impossible for me to, but somehow I feel connected to them. I also find myself staring at the cat-eyed girl, or Haerin, more than the others in the photo. Something about her just pulls me right in.

I turn a couple more pages flipping through the diary, opening it to another one of my mothers entry's.

Jan. 17 1998

Today was a good day. The gang went out on a late night walk and we had snacks as we hung out at our neighborhood park. Minji didn't come to school today. I think she may be sick. I don't know why, but I feel like I've known her my whole life even though I only met her a few days ago. She finally started talking more. I thought we were going to have another Haerin...but no one is like Haerin. Jungwon is also with that girl now officially. I know I should move on, but I don't if I can.

Heesoo

Minji....why is she writing about me? I didn't exist at this time?!?! What the fuck! I flip through random pages and there was no more mention of me. I randomly stopped on another entry towards the end.

Dec. 8, 1998

I wish I died with them. I didn't deserve to live if all of them went. Why did I live and they didn't? I haven't talked to Hanbi since the accident. I don't know what to say to her and I know she doesn't know what to say to me. I can't get the images out of my head. All the blood and screaming. All I can remember is holding Haerin's hand as she reassured me everything was going to be okay. I should have been the one comforting her. Now it's too late. I no longer know how to live without them. I shouldn't be here.

Heesoo

I didn't realize I was crying until a drop fell onto the diary making me slam it shut and throw it on my nightstand. It hurts knowing the pain my mother went through. She watched the people she loved die and she couldn't do anything about it. It hurts slightly more knowing Haerin was comforting her, hell I can't even imagine it. Haerin who says so little and shows such little emotion comforting my mother as she's dying. That's heartbreaking.

-

"Want to get a smoothie after school?" Hanni leans against the locker next to mine as I grab my lunch. I hate the lunch they serve at the cafe. It's disgusting, however my mom used to pack my lunch and my father just thinks a bag of chips and some strawberries is a balanced enough meal for a growing teenage girl so really it's a lose lose situation.

"Yeah sure." I look down at the shorter girl really observing her. She looks so much like her mom when she was young it's crazy. I closed my locker grabbing the shorter girl's hand as I led her to our favorite lunch spot. We love to sit by this tree slightly off campus that is right by a pond. We've sat here together ever since freshman year.

"I'm glad you're back." The Vietnamese girl laughed as she laid on the grass with her head on my lap. She really is a beautiful girl. She's also funny and nice to me. I don't know why we haven't taken the next step.

"Me too." I reach down caressing her face, making the younger girl blush. Hanni plays all big and bag until you show her affection then she's like a baby.

"I missed you this past week." I smirked a little at the girl being all mushy.

"Pham Hanni being sentimental...what's up with you?" Hanni scoffs and smacks my leg curling more into my lap. I wish I could exactly tell you what I feel for this girl, but I myself don't even know or understand it.