CRYPTO: Infidelity (Book 1)

CHAPTER 64: RELATIONSHIP

The next week, I got to spend more quality time with Birdie after dance class. We hung out at the same catholic church. That's where Birdie opened up the most.

"Sorry I was kinda short with you on the phone last week," she apologized. "I was just upset."

"Don't worry about it. I understand."

"It's just hard to see my dad... in that light. I just really looked up to him, you know? We were really close when I was young. He was always kind to me... I guess he just... snapped, as you put it."

"Yeah. I'm sorry he wasn't all you thought he was. Nobody's perfect, you know."

"I know. I just wished he was better than that... I wish I could talk to him... Hear his side of the story."

"Yeah. I would give anything to talk to my parents again," I said.

"You still miss them a lot, don't you," she said. "Does the pain of losing them ever go away?"

"No. Not in my experience anyway. Sometimes when I'm not thinking about them, the pain seems to kinda fade into the background, but when I think of them again... it all comes back, as if they had just died again."

"You must have really loved them."

"I do, and I'm sorry about your dad. I know you loved him too."

"...I have a question for you," Birdie said. "You grew up with loving parents and a nice home and an education. How come you joined Rockie's gang?"

"I guess I just... wanted more?" That wasn't true, but I couldn't tell her the truth. She was too close to Rockie.

"How much do you think is enough?" she asked. "How do you know when to stop wanting?"

"I guess when you have everything you want and you're happy."

"What would make you happy?"

"Well," I said. "I suppose a family would make me happy since I lost mine."

"Oh, I get it. The mafia is like a family to you. That's why you guys refer to it as 'the family'."

"I guess, but I was actually thinking about a family of my own."

"Oh. Like a wife and kids kinda family?"

"Yeah."

"That's sweet."

"What about you? What would make you happy?"

"You know, I'm still trying to figure that out. I think kids would be nice, but you know Rockie."

"If it's a big deal to you, you don't have to stick with him."

"But Rockie takes care of me."

"I could take care of you," I said.

"You're sweet, but I'm happy with Rockie. I'm happy enough. I'm not gonna leave him just because he doesn't want kids. He might even change his mind in the future. Who knows."

"Birdie, he's forty. He's not gonna change his mind."

"He's thirty-nine, and he could change his mind. Age has nothing to do with it."

"I'm just saying, you shouldn't count on it."

"I'm not. Like I said, I'm happy enough with the way things are."

"You know, when you were thirteen, he was twenty-six."

"So?"

"I'm just saying."

"Are you making fun of my decision to date him? There's no law against dating someone thirteen years older than you. We're both adults. How dare you! You better apologize right now!"

"Sorry. I didn't mean to offend you."

"Then what did you mean by it?"

"I just... I wasn't really thinking. I'm sorry. Can we talk about something else?"

"You think it's gross that I'm dating someone that much older than me, don't you?"

"No."

"Love has no age limit."

"I know. I didn't mean it to come out like that," I told her. I had to say something to cover up my blunder. "I have no problem with you or your relationship choice. It's just, I'm a little bitter since Rockie and I got in a bit of a fight on Thursday."

"You did? What about?"

"Just work stuff. He accused me of something I didn't do."

"Is that why you guys haven't hung out all week?"

"Well, I've just been busy. We're on good terms now."

"Obviously not," she said.

"I'm sorry. I just hadn't had the chance to vent. We're still friends and all that."

"Well... Alright. I forgive you, but you need to find a better way to vent. That was not okay."

"I know. I'm sorry." Note to self: don't mention the age gap.

Despite my mistake, we continued to go to dance classes together and hang out at the church afterward. We didn't get in any more fights because I kept myself in check. I stayed off the topic of Rockie and we were all good.